"If," began Mr. Bultitude in great embarrassment, "if I was to tell you that I was not myself at all--but somebody else, a--in fact, an entirely different person from what I seem to you to be--I suppose you would laugh?" "I beg your pardon," said his brother-in-law politely, "I don't think I quite catch the idea." "When I assure you now, solemnly, as I stand here before you, that I am not the miserable boy whose form I am condemned to--to wear, you'll say it is incredible?" "Not at all--by no means, I quite believe you. Only (really it's a mere detail), but I should rather like to know, if you're not that particular boy, what other boy you may happen to be. You'll forgive my curiosity." "I'm not a boy at all--I'm your own unhappy brother-in-law, Paul! You don't believe me, I see." "Oh, pardon me, it's perfectly clear! you're not your own son, but your own father--it's a little confusing at first, but no doubt common enough. I'm glad you mentioned it, though." "Go on," said Paul bitterly, "make light of it--you fancy you are being very clever, but you will find out the truth in time!" "Not without external assistance, I'm afraid," said Paradine calmly. "A more awful little liar for your age I never saw!" "I'm tired of this," said Paul. "Only listen to reason and common sense!" "Only give me a chance." "I tell you," protested Paul earnestly, "it's the sober awful truth--I'm not a boy, it's years since I was a boy--I'm a middle-aged man, thrust into this, this humiliating form." "Don't say that," murmured the other; "it's an excellent fit--very becoming, I assure you." "Do you want to drive me mad with your clumsy jeers?" cried Paul. "Look at me. Do I speak, do I behave, like an ordinary schoolboy?" "I really hope not--for the sake of the rising generation," said Uncle Marmaduke, chuckling at his own powers of repartee. "You are very jaunty to-day--you look as if you were well off," said Paul slowly. "I remember a time when a certain bill was presented to me, drawn by you, and appearing to be accepted (long before I ever saw it) by me. I consented to meet it for my poor Maria's sake, and because to disown my signature would have ruined you for life. Do you remember how you went down on your knees in my private room and swore you would reform and be a credit to your family yet? You weren't quite so well off, or so jaunty then, unless I am very much mistaken." These words had an extraordinary effect upon Uncle Marmaduke; he turned ashy white, and his quick eyes shifted restlessly as he half rose from his chair and threw away his unfinished cigar.