“Ah!” he said to me. “The hue and cry! Contemptible! How I hate it! But
you wouldn't understand—!” he broke off, and slowly regained his usual
air of self-obliteration; he even seemed ashamed, and began trying to
brush his moustaches higher than ever, as if aware that his heat had
robbed them of neatness.
“I'm not myself, when I speak of such matters,” he said suddenly; and
began reading his programme, holding it upside down. A minute later,
however, he said in a peculiar voice: “There are people to be found who
object to vivisecting animals; but the vivisection of a woman, who minds
that? Will you tell me it's right, that because of some tragedy like
this—believe me, it is always a tragedy—we should hunt down a woman?
That her fellow-women should make an outcast of her? That we, who are
men, should make a prey of her? If I thought that....” Again he broke
off, staring very hard in front of him. “It is we who make them what
they are; and even if that is not so—why! if I thought there was a
woman in the world I could not take my hat off to—I—I—couldn't sleep at
night.” He got up from his seat, put on his old straw hat with trembling
fingers, and, without a glance back, went out, stumbling over the
chair-legs.
I sat there, horribly disturbed; the words, “One must try to be a
gentleman!” haunting me. When I came out, he was standing by the
entrance with one hand on his hip and the other on his dog. In that
attitude of waiting he was such a patient figure; the sun glared down
and showed the threadbare nature of his clothes and the thinness of
his brown hands, with their long fingers and nails yellow from tobacco.
Seeing me he came up the steps again, and raised his hat.
“I am glad to have caught you; please forget all that.” I asked if he
would do me the honour of dining at my hotel.
“Dine?” he repeated with the sort of smile a child gives if you offer
him a box of soldiers; “with the greatest pleasure. I seldom dine out,
but I think I can muster up a coat. Yes—yes—and at what time shall I
come? At half-past seven, and your hotel is—? Good! I shall be there.
Freda, mia cara, you will be alone this evening. You do not smoke
caporal, I fear. I find it fairly good; though it has too much bite.” He
walked off with Freda, puffing at his thin roll of caporal.
Once or twice he stopped, as if bewildered or beset by some sudden
doubt or memory; and every time he stopped, Freda licked his hand. They
disappeared round the corner of the street, and I went to my hotel to
see about dinner. On the way I met Jules le Ferrier, and asked him to
come too.
“My faith, yes!” he said, with the rosy pessimism characteristic of the
French editor. “Man must dine!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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