Autobiographical fiction; British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Brussels (Belgium) -- Fiction; Love stories; Women teachers -- Fiction
In beholding this diaphanous and snowy mass, I well remember feeling
myself to be a mere shadowy spot on a field of light; the courage was
not in me to put on a transparent white dress: something thin I must
wear—the weather and rooms being too hot to give substantial fabrics
sufferance, so I had sought through a dozen shops till I lit upon a
crape-like material of purple-gray—the colour, in short, of dun mist,
lying on a moor in bloom. My _tailleuse_ had kindly made it as well as
she could: because, as she judiciously observed, it was “si triste—si
pen voyant,” care in the fashion was the more imperative: it was well
she took this view of the matter, for I, had no flower, no jewel to
relieve it: and, what was more, I had no natural rose of complexion.
We become oblivious of these deficiencies in the uniform routine of
daily drudgery, but they _will_ force upon us their unwelcome blank on
those bright occasions when beauty should shine.
However, in this same gown of shadow, I felt at home and at ease; an
advantage I should not have enjoyed in anything more brilliant or
striking. Madame Beck, too, kept me in countenance; her dress was
almost as quiet as mine, except that she wore a bracelet, and a large
brooch bright with gold and fine stones. We chanced to meet on the
stairs, and she gave me a nod and smile of approbation. Not that she
thought I was looking well—a point unlikely to engage her interest—but
she considered me dressed “convenablement,” “décemment,” and la
Convenance et la Décence were the two calm deities of Madame’s worship.
She even paused, laid on my shoulder her gloved hand, holding an
embroidered and perfumed handkerchief, and confided to my ear a sarcasm
on the other teachers (whom she had just been complimenting to their
faces). “Nothing so absurd,” she said, “as for des femmes mûres ‘to
dress themselves like girls of fifteen’—quant à la St. Pierre, elle a
l’air d’une vieille coquette qui fait l’ingénue.”
Being dressed at least a couple of hours before anybody else, I felt a
pleasure in betaking myself—not to the garden, where servants were busy
propping up long tables, placing seats, and spreading cloths in
readiness for the collation but to the schoolrooms, now empty, quiet,
cool, and clean; their walls fresh stained, their planked floors fresh
scoured and scarce dry; flowers fresh gathered adorning the recesses in
pots, and draperies, fresh hung, beautifying the great windows.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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