Autobiographical fiction; British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Brussels (Belgium) -- Fiction; Love stories; Women teachers -- Fiction
This was a strange house, where no corner was sacred from intrusion,
where not a tear could be shed, nor a thought pondered, but a spy was
at hand to note and to divine. And this new, this out-door, this male
spy, what business had brought him to the premises at this unwonted
hour? What possible right had he to intrude on me thus? No other
professor would have dared to cross the carré before the class-bell
rang. M. Emanuel took no account of hours nor of claims: there was some
book of reference in the first-class library which he had occasion to
consult; he had come to seek it: on his way he passed the refectory. It
was very much his habit to wear eyes before, behind, and on each side
of him: he had seen me through the little window—he now opened the
refectory door, and there he stood.
“Mademoiselle, vous êtes triste.”
“Monsieur, j’en ai bien le droit.”
“Vous êtes malade de cœur et d’humeur,” he pursued. “You are at once
mournful and mutinous. I see on your cheek two tears which I know are
hot as two sparks, and salt as two crystals of the sea. While I speak
you eye me strangely. Shall I tell you of what I am reminded while
watching you?”
“Monsieur, I shall be called away to prayers shortly; my time for
conversation is very scant and brief at this hour—excuse——”
“I excuse everything,” he interrupted; “my mood is so meek, neither
rebuff nor, perhaps, insult could ruffle it. You remind me, then, of a
young she wild creature, new caught, untamed, viewing with a mixture of
fire and fear the first entrance of the breaker-in.”
Unwarrantable accost!—rash and rude if addressed to a pupil; to a
teacher inadmissible. He thought to provoke a warm reply; I had seen
him vex the passionate to explosion before now. In me his malice should
find no gratification; I sat silent.
“You look,” said he, “like one who would snatch at a draught of sweet
poison, and spurn wholesome bitters with disgust.”
“Indeed, I never liked bitters; nor do I believe them wholesome. And to
whatever is sweet, be it poison or food, you cannot, at least, deny its
own delicious quality—sweetness. Better, perhaps, to die quickly a
pleasant death, than drag on long a charmless life.”
“Yet,” said he, “you should take your bitter dose duly and daily, if I
had the power to administer it; and, as to the well-beloved poison, I
would, perhaps, break the very cup which held it.”
I sharply turned my head away, partly because his presence utterly
displeased me, and partly because I wished to shun questions: lest, in
my present mood, the effort of answering should overmaster
self-command.
“Come,” said he, more softly, “tell me the truth—you grieve at being
parted from friends—is it not so?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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