Autobiographical fiction; British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Brussels (Belgium) -- Fiction; Love stories; Women teachers -- Fiction
“I think it a case of spectral illusion: I fear, following on and
resulting from long-continued mental conflict.”
“Oh, Doctor John—I shudder at the thought of being liable to such an
illusion! It seemed so real. Is there no cure?—no preventive?”
“Happiness is the cure—a cheerful mind the preventive: cultivate both.”
No mockery in this world ever sounds to me so hollow as that of being
told to _cultivate_ happiness. What does such advice mean? Happiness is
not a potato, to be planted in mould, and tilled with manure. Happiness
is a glory shining far down upon us out of Heaven. She is a divine dew
which the soul, on certain of its summer mornings, feels dropping upon
it from the amaranth bloom and golden fruitage of Paradise.
“Cultivate happiness!” I said briefly to the doctor: “do _you_
cultivate happiness? How do you manage?”
“I am a cheerful fellow by nature: and then ill-luck has never dogged
me. Adversity gave me and my mother one passing scowl and brush, but we
defied her, or rather laughed at her, and she went by.”.
“There is no cultivation in all this.”
“I do not give way to melancholy.”
“Yes: I have seen you subdued by that feeling.”
“About Ginevra Fanshawe—eh?”
“Did she not sometimes make you miserable?”
“Pooh! stuff! nonsense! You see I am better now.”
If a laughing eye with a lively light, and a face bright with beaming
and healthy energy, could attest that he was better, better he
certainly was.
“You do not look much amiss, or greatly out of condition,” I allowed.
“And why, Lucy, can’t you look and feel as I do—buoyant, courageous,
and fit to defy all the nuns and flirts in Christendom? I would give
gold on the spot just to see you snap your fingers. Try the manœuvre.”
“If I were to bring Miss Fanshawe into your presence just now?”
“I vow, Lucy, she should not move me: or, she should move me but by one
thing—true, yes, and passionate love. I would accord forgiveness at no
less a price.”
“Indeed! a smile of hers would have been a fortune to you a while
since.”
“Transformed, Lucy: transformed! Remember, you once called me a slave!
but I am a free man now!”
He stood up: in the port of his head, the carriage of his figure, in
his beaming eye and mien, there revealed itself a liberty which was
more than ease—a mood which was disdain of his past bondage.
“Miss Fanshawe,” he pursued, “has led me through a phase of feeling
which is over: I have entered another condition, and am now much
disposed to exact love for love—passion for passion—and good measure of
it, too.”
“Ah, Doctor! Doctor! you said it was your nature to pursue Love under
difficulties—to be charmed by a proud insensibility!”.
He laughed, and answered, “My nature varies: the mood of one hour is
sometimes the mockery of the next. Well, Lucy” (drawing on his gloves),
“will the Nun come again to-night, think you?”
“I don’t think she will.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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