Autobiographical fiction; British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Brussels (Belgium) -- Fiction; Love stories; Women teachers -- Fiction
“And my pupils,” he presently recommenced, “those blondes jeunes
filles—so mild and meek—I have seen the most reserved—romp like boys,
the demurest—snatch grapes from the walls, shake pears from the trees.
When the English teacher came, I saw her, marked her early preference
for this alley, noticed her taste for seclusion, watched her well, long
before she and I came to speaking terms; do you recollect my once
coming silently and offering you a little knot of white violets when we
were strangers?”
“I recollect it. I dried the violets, kept them, and have them still.”
“It pleased me when you took them peacefully and promptly, without
prudery—that sentiment which I ever dread to excite, and which, when it
is revealed in eye or gesture, I vindictively detest. To return. Not
only did _I_ watch you; but often—especially at eventide—another
guardian angel was noiselessly hovering near: night after night my
cousin Beck has stolen down yonder steps, and glidingly pursued your
movements when you did not see her.”
“But, Monsieur, you could not from the distance of that window see what
passed in this garden at night?”
“By moonlight I possibly might with a glass—I use a glass—but the
garden itself is open to me. In the shed, at the bottom, there is a
door leading into a court, which communicates with the college; of that
door I possess the key, and thus come and go at pleasure. This
afternoon I came through it, and found you asleep in classe; again this
evening I have availed myself of the same entrance.”
I could not help saying, “If you were a wicked, designing man, how
terrible would all this be!”
His attention seemed incapable of being arrested by this view of the
subject: he lit his cigar, and while he puffed it, leaning against a
tree, and looking at me in a cool, amused way he had when his humour
was tranquil, I thought proper to go on sermonizing him: he often
lectured me by the hour together—I did not see why I should not speak
my mind for once. So I told him my impressions concerning his
Jesuit-system.
“The knowledge it brings you is bought too dear, Monsieur; this coming
and going by stealth degrades your own dignity.”
“My dignity!” he cried, laughing; “when did you ever see me trouble my
head about my dignity? It is you, Miss Lucy, who are ‘digne.’ How
often, in your high insular presence, have I taken a pleasure in
trampling upon, what you are pleased to call, my dignity; tearing it,
scattering it to the winds, in those mad transports you witness with
such hauteur, and which I know you think very like the ravings of a
third-rate London actor.”
“Monsieur, I tell you every glance you cast from that lattice is a
wrong done to the best part of your own nature. To study the human
heart thus, is to banquet secretly and sacrilegiously on Eve’s apples.
I wish you were a Protestant.”
Indifferent to the wish, he smoked on. After a space of smiling yet
thoughtful silence, he said, rather suddenly—“I have seen other
things.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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