Marriage -- Fiction; Virginia -- Fiction; Wives -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
At the corner of Sycamore Street a shopkeeper was putting away his goods
for the night, and in the window Virginia saw a length of hyacinth-blue
silk, matching her eyes, which she had remotely coveted for weeks--never
expecting to possess it, yet never quite reconciling herself to the
thought that it might be worn by some other woman. That length of silk
had grown gradually to symbolize the last glimmer of girlish vanity
which motherhood had not extinguished in her heart; and while she looked
at it now, in her new recklessness of mood, a temptation, born of the
perversity which rules human fate, came to her to go in and buy it while
she was still desperate enough to act foolishly and not be afraid. For
the first time in her life that immemorial spirit of adventure which
lies buried under the dead leaves of civilization at the bottom of every
human heart--with whose re-arisen ghost men have moved mountains and
ploughed jungles and charted illimitable seas--this imperishable spirit
stirred restlessly in its grave and prompted her for once to be
uncalculating and to risk the future. In the flickering motive which
guided her as she entered the shop, one would hardly have recognized the
lusty impulse which had sent her ancestors on splendid rambles of
knight-errantry, yet its hidden source was the same. The simple purchase
of twelve yards of blue silk which she had wanted for weeks! To an
outsider it would have appeared a small matter, yet in the act there was
the intrepid struggle of a personal will to enforce its desire upon
destiny. She would win back the romance and the beauty of living at the
cost of prudence, at the cost of practical comforts, at the cost, if
need be, of those ideals of womanly duty to which the centuries had
trained her! For eight years she had hardly thought of herself, for
eight years she had worked and saved and planned and worried, for eight
years she had given her life utterly and entirely to Oliver and the
children--and the result was that he was happier with Abby--with Abby
whom he didn't even admire--than he was with the wife whom he both
respected and loved! The riddle not only puzzled, it enraged her. Though
she was too simple to seek a psychological answer, the very fact that it
existed became an immediate power in her life. She forgot the lateness
of the evening, she forgot the children who were anxiously watching for
her return. The forces of character, which she had always regarded as
divinely fixed and established, melted and became suddenly fluid. She
wasn't what she had been the minute before--she wasn't even, she began
dimly to realize, what she would probably be the minute afterwards. Yet
the impulse which governed her now was as despotic as if it had reigned
in undisputed authority since the day of her birth. She knew that it was
a rebel against the disciplined and moderate rule of her conscience, but
this knowledge, which would have horrified her had she been in a normal
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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