“My dear child,” said Roden, nervously, “do choose a more cheerful
subject. Really, you know, it isn’t good for you to be morbid now. Let’s
talk of something jolly and pleasant. Don’t you want to hear how the
mokes are coming along? And Bonnibel, poor old girl! I’m afraid her
feelings will be awfully hurt when I tell her you didn’t ask after her.”
“I s’pose ev’ybordy bleeves in torment that has felt it,” said the girl.
She had not moved in anywise. Her deep, still eyes yet rested on his
face. She seemed drinking his looks with hers. “I’ve sorter come ter
think as hell’s in th’ hearts o’ people,” she went on. “There ain’t no
flames ez kin burn like them in people’s hearts.”
Roden jumped to his feet, and went over beside her. “Virginia,” he said,
kindly but firmly, “I’m not going to let you talk like this. Good Heaven!
those country quacks know as little about medicine as I do; not as
much, by Jove! for I’d not have let you leave your bed for a month yet.
Come, dear, let me persuade you. Go back to bed. I’ll come and see you
to-morrow in your room, if your father’ll let me. You must, Virginia!”
“It ain’t no worse, do you reckon,” she went on, dully, “tuh be in hell
than tuh have hell in you? I’ve thought er heap ’bout it. I’ve most
answered it, but I’d rather--”
“Hush! hush!” said Roden, imperatively. He thought her delirious, and
started to the door to call her nurse.
“Wait!” rang out her voice, with all its old, clear strength. She had
risen to her feet. She was there before him. The light from the window
behind her struck through her hair, so that she seemed standing between
rows of living flame. “I want tuh tell you,” she said. “I didn’t use tuh
think I was a coward, but I am--I am!” She beat the palms of her hands
together, and tossed back her head as though seeking to be rid of the
superflux of agony which tore her. “I kyarn’ bear to say it tuh yo’; I
kyarn’ bear to hear yo’ curse me, ez I have so often hearn yo’ in my
dreams. I kyarn’ bear--O God!--I kyarn’ bear fur yo’ tuh know me ez I am.
O God! O God! this’ll wipe it out, won’t it? This’ll buy me peace?”
“Virginia! Virginia!” said Roden, beside himself. He tried to force her
again into her chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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