Vivian GreyDisraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
ReligionIslamic
Vivian Grey
Disraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
Bildungsromans; British -- Europe -- Fiction; Political fiction; Politicians -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
“It is not my intention to detain you long, sir; far from it. I have
every inclination to assist you in your last exit from this room; had I
time, it should not be by the door. As it is, go! in the devil’s name.”
So saying he hurled the adventurous Frenchman half down the corridor.
“Baron von Konigstein,” said Vivian, turning to the Baron, “you have
proved yourself, by your conduct this evening, to be a better man than I
imagined you. I confess that I thought you had been too much accustomed
to such scenes to be sensible of the horror of detection.”
“Never!” said the Baron, with emphasis, with energy. The firm voice and
manner in which he pronounced this single word wonderfully contrasted
with his delivery when he had last spoke; but his voice immediately
died away.
“‘Tis all over! I have no wish to excite your pity, gentlemen, or to
gain your silence, by practising upon your feelings. Be silent. I am not
the less ruined, not the less disgraced, not the less utterly undone. Be
silent; my honour, all the same, in four-and-twenty hours, has gone for
ever. I have no motive, then, to deceive you. You must believe what I
speak; even what _I_ speak, the most degraded of men. I say again,
_never_, never, never, never, never was my honour before sullied, though
guilty of a thousand follies. You see before you, gentlemen, the unhappy
victim of circumstances; of circumstances which he has in vain struggled
to control, to which he has at length fallen a victim. I am not
pretending, for a moment, that my crimes are to be accounted for by an
inexorable fate, and not to be expiated by my everlasting misery. No,
no! I have been too weak to be virtuous: but I have been tried, tried
most bitterly. I am the most unfortunate of men; I was not born to be a
villain. Four years have passed since I was banished from the country in
which I was honoured, my prospects in life blasted, my peace of mind
destroyed; and all because a crime was committed of any participation in
which I am as innocent as yourselves. Driven in despair to wander, I
tried, in the wild dissipation of Naples, to forget my existence and my
misery. I found my fate in the person of this vile Frenchman, who never
since has quitted me. Even after two years of madness in that fatal
place, my natural disposition rallied; I struggled to save myself; I
quitted it. I was already involved to De Boeffleurs; I became still more
so, in gaining from him the means of satisfying all claims against me.
Alas! I found I had sold myself to a devil, a very devil, with a heart
like an adder’s. Incapable of a stray generous sensation, he has looked
upon mankind during his whole life with the eyes of a bully of a
gaming-house. I still struggled to free myself from this man; and I
indemnified him for his advances by procuring him a place in the mission
to which, with the greatest difficulty and perseverance, I had at length
obtained my appointment. In public life I yet hoped to forget my private
misery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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