THE OWNER OF THE HAT (_to her Husband_). Don't you do nothing of the sort, Sam, or you'll _'ear_ of it! THE MOTHER. Some people are perlite, I must say. Parties might _beyave_ as ladies when they come in the Pit! It's a pity her 'usband can't teach her better manners! THE FATHER. _'Im_ teach her! 'E knows better. 'E's got a Tartar there, _'e_ 'as! THE OWNER OF THE HAT. Sam, are you going to set by and hear me insulted like this? HER HUSBAND (_turning round tremulously_). I--I'll trouble you to drop making these personal allusions to my wife's 'at, Sir. It's puffickly impossible to listen to what's going on on the stage with all these remarks be'ind! THE FATHER. Not more nor it is to _see_ what's going on on the stage with that 'at in front! I paid 'arf-a-crown to see the Pantermime, I did; not to 'ave a view of your wife's 'at!... 'Ere, Maria, blowed if I can stand this 'ere game any longer. Jimmy must change places again, and if he can't see, he must jest stand up on the seat, that's all! [JIMMY _is transferred to his original place, and mounts upon the seat_. A PITTITE BEHIND JIMMY (_touching up_ JIMMY'S _Father with an umbrella_). Will you tell your little boy to set down, please, and not block the view like this? JIMMY'S FATHER. If you can indooce that lady in front to take off her 'at, I will--but not before. Stay where you are, Jimmy, my boy. THE PITTITE BEHIND. Well, I must stand myself then, that's all. I mean to see, _somehow_! [_He rises._ PEOPLE BEHIND HIM (_sternly_). Set down there, will yer? [_He resumes his seat expostulating._ JIMMY. Father, the gentleman behind is a pinching of my legs! JIMMY'S FATHER. Will you stop pinching my little boy's legs! He ain't doing _you_ no 'arm--is he? THE PINCHING PITTITE. Let him sit down, then! JIMMY'S FATHER. Let the lady take her 'at off! MURMURS BEHIND. Order, there! Set down! Put that boy down! Take orf that 'at! Silence in front, there! Turn 'em out! Shame! ... &c., &c. THE HUSBAND OF THE O. OF THE H. (_in a whisper to his Wife_). Take off the blessed 'at, and have done with it, do! THE O. OF THE H. What--_now_! I'd sooner _die_ in the 'at! [An ATTENDANT _is called_. THE ATTENDANT. Order, there, Gentlemen, please--unless you want to get turned out! No standing allowed on the seats--you're disturbing the performance 'ere, you know! [JIMMY _is made to sit down, and weeps silently_; _the hubbub gradually subsides--and_ THE OWNER OF THE HAT _triumphs--for the moment_. JIMMY'S MOTHER. Never mind, my boy, you shall have Mother's seat in a minute. I dessay, if all was known, the lady 'as reasons for keeping her 'at on, pore thing! THE FATHER (_perceiving her drift_). Ah, I never thought o' that. So she may. Very likely her 'at won't _come_ off--not without her _'air_! THE MOTHER. Ah, well, we mustn't be 'ard on her, if that's so. THE O. OF THE H. (_removing the obstruction_). I 'ope you're satisfied _now_, I'm sure?