Voltaire's Romances, Complete in One VolumeVoltaire
Philosophy
Voltaire's Romances, Complete in One Volume
Voltaire
French fiction -- Translations into English
"We suppose," says he, "what cannot be in nature, lines which have
length without breadth. Naturally and philosophically speaking, it is
impossible for one real line to penetrate another. No curve, nor no
right line can pass between two real lines that touch one another. These
theorems that puzzle you are but sports of the imagination, ideal
chimeras. Whereas true geometry is the art of measuring things actually
existent."
I was perfectly well satisfied with the confession of the sensible
mathematician, and, with all my misfortune, could not help laughing on
learning that there was a quackery even in that science, which is called
the sublime science. My geometrician was a kind of philosophical
patriot, who had deigned to chat with me sometimes in my cottage. I said
to him:
"Sir, you have tried to enlighten the cockneys of Paris, on a point of
the greatest concern to mankind, that of the duration of human life. It
is to you alone that the ministry owes its knowledge of the due rate of
annuities for lives, according to different ages. You have proposed to
furnish the houses in town with what water they may want, and to deliver
us at length from the shame and ridicule of hearing water cried about
the streets, and of seeing women inclosed within an oblong hoop,
carrying two pails of water, both together of about thirty pounds
weight, up to a fourth story. Be so good, in the name of friendship, to
tell me, how many two-handed bipeds there may be in France?"
THE GEOMETRICIAN.--It is assumed, that there may be about twenty
millions, and I am willing to adopt this calculation as the most
probable, till it can be verified, which it would be very easy to do,
and which, however, has not hitherto been done, because _one does not
always think of every thing_.
THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--How many acres, think you, the whole territory
of France contains?
THE GEOMETRICIAN.--One hundred and thirty millions, of which almost the
half is in roads, in towns, villages, moors, heaths, marshes, sands,
barren lands, useless convents, gardens of more pleasure than profit,
uncultivated grounds, and bad grounds ill cultivated. We might reduce
all the land which yields good returns to seventy-five millions of
square acres; but let us state them at fourscore millions. One cannot do
too much for one's country.
THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--How much may you think each acre brings in
yearly, one year with another, in corn, seeds of all kinds, wine,
fish-ponds, wood, metals, cattle, fruit, wool, silk, oil, milk, clear of
all charges, without reckoning the tax?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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