Voltaire's Romances, Complete in One VolumeVoltaire
Philosophy
Voltaire's Romances, Complete in One Volume
Voltaire
French fiction -- Translations into English
At this harangue all the philosophers shook their heads, and one among
them, more candid than his brethren, frankly owned, that excepting a
very small number of inhabitants who were very little esteemed by their
fellows, all the rest were a parcel of knaves, fools, and miserable
wretches.
"We have matter enough," said he, "to do abundance of mischief, if
mischief comes from matter; and too much understanding, if evil flows
from understanding. You must know, for example, that at this very
moment, while I am speaking, there are one hundred thousand animals of
our own species, covered with hats, slaying an equal number of their
fellow-creatures, who wear turbans; at least they are either slaying or
being slain; and this hath usually been the case all over the earth from
time immemorial."
The Sirian, shuddering at this information, begged to know the cause of
those horrible quarrels among such a puny race; and was given to
understand that the subject of the dispute was a pitiful mole-hill
[called Palestine,] no larger than his heel. Not that any one of those
millions who cut one another's throats pretends to have the least claim
to the smallest particle of that clod. The question is, whether it shall
belong to a certain person who is known by the name of Sultan, or to
another whom (for what reason I know not) they dignify with the
appellation of Pope. Neither the one nor the other has seen or ever will
see the pitiful corner in question; and probably none of these wretches,
who so madly destroy each other, ever beheld the ruler on whose account
they are so mercilessly sacrificed!
"Ah, miscreants!" cried the indignant Sirian, "such excess of desperate
rage is beyond conception. I have a good mind to take two or three
steps, and trample the whole nest of such ridiculous assassins under my
feet."
"Don't give yourself the trouble," replied the philosopher, "they are
industrious enough in procuring their own destruction. At the end of ten
years the hundredth part of those wretches will not survive; for you
must know that, though they should not draw a sword in the cause they
have espoused, famine, fatigue, and intemperance, would sweep almost all
of them from the face of the earth. Besides, the punishment should not
be inflicted upon them, but upon those sedentary and slothful
barbarians, who, from their palaces, give orders for murdering a million
of men and then solemnly thank God for their success."
Our traveler was moved with compassion for the entire human race, in
which he discovered such astonishing contrasts. "Since you are of the
small number of the wise," said he, "and in all likelihood do not engage
yourselves in the trade of murder for hire, be so good as to tell me
your occupation."
"We anatomize flies," replied the philosopher, "we measure lines, we
make calculations, we agree upon two or three points which we
understand, and dispute upon two or three thousand that are beyond our
comprehension."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Voltaire's Romances, Complete in One Volume — John Shaqi
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