Waiting for DaylightTomlinson, H. M. (Henry Major)
General
Waiting for Daylight
Tomlinson, H. M. (Henry Major)
English essays; World War, 1914-1918
FEBRUARY 15, 1919. Southwark Street is warehouses and railway bridges,
and at its best is not beautiful; but when at night it is a deep chasm
through which whirl cataracts of snow, and the paving is sludge, then, if
you are at one end of it, the other end is as far away as joy. I was at
one end of it, and at the other was my train, due to leave in ten
minutes. Yet as there was a strike, there might be no train, and so I
could not lose it; I had that consolation while judging that, with more
than half a mile of snow and squall intervening from the north-east, I
could not do the length of the street in ten minutes. So I surrendered
the train which might not run to whoever was able to catch it, and in
that instant of renunciation the dark body of a motor lorry skidded to
the kerb and stopped beside me. A voice that was as passionless as
destiny told me to hop up, if I were going towards the station. The
headlong lorry, the sombre masses of the buildings which were now
looming through the diminishing snow, and the winter's night, roused a
vision of another place, much like it, or else the snow and the night
made it seem like it, and so my uppermost thought became too personal,
unimportant, and curious for converse. All I said, as I took my place
beside the steering wheel, was: "It's a wretched night." (But I might
have been alone in the lorry. There was no immediate answer.) I communed
secretly with my memory. Then the voice returned out of the darkness. It
startled me. "This corner," it remarked, "always reminds me of a bit of
Armentieres." The voice had answered my thought, and not my words.
The lorry stopped and I got down. I never saw the driver. I do not know
whose voice it was; if, indeed, there was with me in that lorry more than
a shadow and an impersonal voice.
Yet now the night could do its worst. I had the illusion that I had seen
through it. Were these bleak and obdurate circumstances an imposture?
They appeared to have me imprisoned helplessly in time and snow; yet I
had seen them shaken, and by a mere thought. Did their appearance depend
on the way we looked at them? Perhaps it was that. We are compelled by
outside things to their mould, and are mortified; but occasionally they
fail to hide the joke. The laugh becomes ours, and circumstance must
submit to the way we see it. If Time playfully imprisons us in a century
we would rather have missed, where only the stars are left undisturbed to
wink above the doings and noises of Bedlam, and where to miss the last
train--supposing it runs at all--is the right end to a perfect day of
blizzards and social squalls, what does it matter when we find that the
whole of it is shaken by a single idea? Might it not vanish altogether if
enough of us could be found to laugh at it? This dream assisted me to
some warmth of mind through the rest of the cold night till I arrived on
the station platform, after the train had left.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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