Wanderings of a beauty : $b A tale of the real and the idealJames, Edwin, Mrs.
General
Wanderings of a beauty : $b A tale of the real and the ideal
James, Edwin, Mrs.
English fiction -- 19th century
EVELYN.
The letter was just concluded, when a gentle tap at the door caused the
writer’s heart to give one bound, and then almost to cease beating.
Evelyn withdrew the bolt—for she must speak with Ella. The young girl
threw herself on her mother’s neck; but that mother’s kiss was cold, for
the first time—and, as she felt the soft contact of her child’s pure
lips, almost a shudder passed through her frame. Ah! wherefore did the
shadow of _that man_ come between those two! And Ella knelt at her
mother’s feet, an unconscious rival; and as the latter, faint and sick
at heart, leaned back in her _fauteuil_, she held the poor burning hand
in her cool fresh palm, and poured out before her mother all the
thoughts and feelings of her innocent, loving heart. She told how D’Arcy
loved her, how kind he was, how clever—far too wise and clever for her,
how could he think of such a child? True, Lilian had told him, or it
could never have been; but her dear mother must teach her to become
wise, worthy of him, that he may not think her foolish—“But oh! my own,
own mama, I never, never will marry and leave you all alone. I told Mr.
D’Arcy so. Never till you are a duchess, you know,” kissing her hand,
“for though I like him very much, I never shall love him like my own
sweet mother; how could I!”
Alas! poor Evelyn; bitterly did thy heart reproach thee that thou
couldst not feel as the tender maiden at thy feet—that thy now guilty
love still glowed in thy tortured heart, as in a furnace, to the
exclusion of each gentle and more holy sentiment. Unhappy mother! she
could scarce support the presence of her child now.
“Dear girl,” she said, with an effort, “be happy. I have written to
accept M. di Balzano.”—Ella made a movement of delight. “Bless you,
darling, now leave me. Take that letter and see that it is sent. I would
be alone, my head aches terribly.” A true woman’s excuse, but in our
heroine’s case not a fictitious one.
Once more left to her own sad thoughts, Evelyn endeavored to realize her
painful position. It was necessary to meet D’Arcy; to show him that she
consented, nay, that she was even happy, in the idea of his union with
another, and that other her own daughter. “Alas!” she repeated to
herself,
“To love thee dumbly, nor by look or word
To break the silence set upon my soul,
To crush the voice that struggles to be heard,
To gaze unmoved on the forbidden goal.
“To sit and look into thine eyes, and yearn
To tell thee all my closely hoarded thought,
And still to know that I must calmly learn
To meet thy gaze, and yet to utter naught
“To know there is no hope; hourly to feel
That Destiny forbids a word, a breath;
This bitter fate is mine, until the seal
Is broken, by the welcome hand of death.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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