Cooks -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Housekeeping -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
Letitia put my evening clothes in a dress-suit-case, and, with a heart
once more lightened, I departed. The old affection lingered in her
parting kiss; she clung to me tenderly, and although the McCaffrey brat
hovered around, and Letitia insisted upon my kissing its sticky face, I
made no protest. The prospect of a night off made a boy of me again. I
felt young, and enthusiastic, and happy.
It was not easy to buy _Parsifal_ tickets. Evidently the subject of the
Holy Grail, heavy, lugubrious, massive, with an elusive fantasy about
it, appealed to the wearied hearts of New York. A long line of women
stood making _Parsifal_ investments, anxious doubtless, as we were, to
spend a cookless evening. Probably these women would have winced at
suggestions of _Merely Mary Ann_ and _The Admirable Crichton_. I
couldn't help thinking, as, in return for a twenty-dollar bill, I
received a couple of pasteboard bits, that if New York managers had
homes of their own, and lived the lives of the public, for which they
cater, their views upon the desirability of certain plays would change.
Managers are not conspicuously domestic in their habits, and they have
no inkling of the real joys and sorrows of their clients. They produce
plays written in other lands, for the people of other lands, and reason
that human nature is the same everywhere. In which, I ween, they err.
They are impatient and restive at their many failures, but--they
continue their policy of risk.
The day passed slowly. Tamworth seemed sorry for me when I told him that
I was going to the opera, and suggested that I take a pillow with me--a
rather tactless remark, I thought. He had once suffered, he said, from
insomnia, and the doctors had almost despaired of curing him. He grew
thin and restless, through lack of sleep. He read the very dullest books
he could find, every night--all the romances and historical novels--and
even these that had never failed him before as a narcotic, were useless.
Then, in an inspired moment, he went to the Metropolitan House and
tackled _Der Nibelungenring_. Wagner triumphed over the physicians.
Morpheus emerged from his hiding-place, and insomnia was vanquished.
Said Tamworth: "Nowadays, if I have a return of my old complaint, I just
walk up Broadway and look at the outside of the Metropolitan House. The
effect is magical. I go home and sleep the sleep of the virtuous."
This was not encouraging, but I did not repine. Better a peaceful
nerveless lethargy, induced by the Holy Grail, than the discordant din
of horse-laughter set in motion by ill-timed variations, in fantasy
form, upon tragic domestic themes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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