War's Brighter Side: The Story of The Friend Newspaper Edited by the Correspondents with Lord Roberts's Forces, March-April, 1900Ralph, Julian
History
War's Brighter Side: The Story of The Friend Newspaper Edited by the Correspondents with Lord Roberts's Forces, March-April, 1900
Ralph, Julian
Friend (Bloemfontein, South Africa); South African War, 1899-1902 -- Periodicals
Then a Heaven-sent inspiration seized me--"Well, Brown," I said,
raising my voice, "So that's the chlorodyne is it?"--I seized the big
brown-paper parcel--"It's five o'clock now; tell every Jack man in
camp he's to fall in here sharp at six for a dose of chlorodyne."
The conductor stared at me; I suppose he thought I was mad.
"Don't you hear," I cried; "go off at once, and don't let anybody
interrupt us while we have breakfast." And I managed to give him the
faintest wink--in another minute I heard him shouting my order through
the camp.
"Jimmy, let's make chlorodyne." Jimmy grinned. "Collis Browne's is the
best," he said; "twenty drops for an adult."
Then he started whistling again while we shut up the tent and went to
work.
"Small bottles are no use," I said, "must have wholesale manufactory;
we'll find that demi-john."
We started with two tins of condensed milk--to give it a bit of
body--and a tin of Van Houten's cocoa made a grand colouring. Two big
spoonfuls of red pepper, "to ginger it up." "Must mix our flavour,"
said Jimmy, "or they'll recognize the brand"--so in went Bengal
chutney and strawberry jam. We were rummaging out our grocery
box--"Sardines ain't much use, nor cheese, nor Danish butter; but
here's a bottle of the nastiest pickles I ever tasted, let's give them
the juice of that; they won't believe it's medicine unless it tastes
bad."
"My tooth powder is nasty enough," said Jimmy, "Carbolic something,
and warranted to do no harm--in it goes."
The two bottles of Dop were chucked in as a finish and the mixture was
nasty enough for anybody--rich brown, creamy, and fiery hot.
Jimmy had entered heart and soul into the business.--"None's genuine
without the label," he cried, and rushed at our small stationery box.
"Hullo, sealing wax, here, you find a cork and seal it up; these cards
will do for labels. Some of these niggers can read and write, so we
must play the game right through. If they spot us we're done. Now,
men--Genuine Chlorodyne--for coughs, colds, &c.--every three hours
till the pain ceases; to be well shaken before taken. And another
label--To O.C. No. 2, General Hospital, Viten Sideing,--On H.M.
Service--free--franked. Dirty the paper a bit to show it's come a long
way--then when we throw the jar away they'll see it's genuine."
"They don't have chlorodyne in our hospitals," I suggested.
"Go to blazes! the niggers aren't cute enough for that. But look here,
old chap, you look a bit cheap; we'll resurrect you to start with. I'm
afraid you'll have to take some, but I'll make it as small a dose as I
can."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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