"It is well to keep your hair on; it is Better to take out your Tompion." A shell on the Rand is worth ten on the veldt. There are ninety and nine roads to Stellenbosch, but only two to Pretoria. Take the other. (_Kopjeright in all armies and standing camps._) * * * * * MISS UITLANDER REPLIES TO MISS BLOEMFONTEIN. DEAR MADEMOISELLE,--I pray that you will excuse me for venturing to set you right upon one or two matters which I noticed in your reply to Mr. Ralph. Miss Uitlander did, indeed, with joy and pride, trip out to meet Mr. Englishman, though, as a matter of fact, she is as much Miss Bloemfontein as yourself. In reality, your correct name is Miss Free-Stater. But that is a trifle which may pass. The "loving hand" you boast of having extended to us has long since been covered by an iron glove, the weight of which we have daily been made to feel, and to that you must associate the joyful flaunting of our colours in your face. His coming meant freedom--the sweetest thing in the world--to us. You called our brothers and sisters cowards as they fled your oppression and bitter and openly expressed hatred. You threw white feathers into the carriages as they passed you by. You loudly bemoaned your fate as a woman and longed to don masculine garments to aid your beaux in exterminating the hated English. Could we remember a "loving hand" then? You were quick to tell us that there would be no room for us to live beside you so soon as Mr. Englishman was driven back to the sea. "The hated English had never been wanted and would not be allowed to stay." And since you continue to make no secret of your hatred, the same remedy is now in your own hands. But it will be difficult to find a spot where Mr. Englishman is not _en evidence_. To use Mr. Chamberlain's famous phrase, "There is a point where silence is weakness." That point has been reached. You seem to forget that you simply and generously, of course, gave away your town and State without the faintest shadow of a cause, to the nation who never had the remotest idea of coming near you or troubling you. You were eager to cross arms with the most powerful nation in the world, knowing as you must have done, deep in your sensible mind, that you would lose in the fray. You hint at our ingratitude. How about your own? Had it not been for England your land would never have had a place in the existence of South African territory from the days of long ago. Who has helped to uphold the dignity of your land? Mr. Englishman. Who has helped to fill your coffers, public and private, with wealth? Mr. Englishman. Who has been the chief spirit of commerce within your gates? Mr. Englishman. And whom has it been your greatest pride to imitate in manner, in dress, and in speech but Mr. Englishman? Nay, had he withdrawn his patronage as he might have done, your land would have collapsed like a bubble.