Authors, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Irving, Washington, 1783-1859
"The good Peter reeled with the blow, and turning up his eyes
beheld a thousand suns, besides moons and stars, dancing about the
firmament; at length, missing his footing, by reason of his wooden
leg, down he came on his seat of honor with a crash which shook the
surrounding hills, and might have wrecked his frame, had he not
been received into a cushion softer than velvet, which Providence,
or Minerva, or St. Nicholas, or some cow, had benevolently prepared
for his reception.
"The furious Risingh, in despite of the maxim, cherished by all
true knights, that 'fair play is a jewel,' hastened to take
advantage of the hero's fall; but, as he stooped to give a fatal
blow, Peter Stuyvesant dealt him a thwack over the sconce with his
wooden leg, which set a chime of bells ringing triple bob-majors in
his cerebellum. The bewildered Swede staggered with the blow, and
the wary Peter seizing a pocket-pistol, which lay hard by,
discharged it full at the head of the reeling Risingh. Let not my
reader mistake; it was not a murderous weapon loaded with powder
and ball, but a little sturdy stone pottle charged to the muzzle
with a double dram of true Dutch courage, which the knowing Antony
Van Corlear carried about him by way of replenishing his valor, and
which had dropped from his wallet during his furious encounter with
the drummer. The hideous weapon sang through the air, and true to
its course as was the fragment of a rock discharged at Hector by
bully Ajax, encountered the head of the gigantic Swede with
matchless violence.
"This heaven-directed blow decided the battle. The ponderous
pericranium of General Jan Risingh sank upon his breast; his knees
tottered under him; a deathlike torpor seized upon his frame, and
he tumbled to the earth with such violence that old Pluto started
with affright, lest he should have broken through the roof of his
infernal palace.
"His fall was the signal of defeat and victory: the Swedes gave
way, the Dutch pressed forward; the former took to their heels, the
latter hotly pursued. Some entered with them, pell-mell, through
the sally-port; others stormed the bastion, and others scrambled
over the curtain. Thus in a little while the fortress of Fort
Christina, which, like another Troy, had stood a siege of full ten
hours, was carried by assault, without the loss of a single man on
either side. Victory, in the likeness of a gigantic ox-fly, sat
perched upon the cocked hat of the gallant Stuyvesant; and it was
declared by all the writers whom he hired to write the history of
his expedition that on this memorable day he gained a sufficient
quantity of glory to immortalize a dozen of the greatest heroes in
Christendom!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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