Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Love stories; Mate selection -- Fiction
“God bless you, my dear.” And on this theological amenity the two
women kissed and separated. Nora returned to her dressing-case and
read over her cousin’s letter. Its clear friendliness seemed to ring
out audibly amid this appalling hush of familiar harmony. “I wish
you might know a day’s friendlessness or a day’s freedom,—a poor devil
who is your natural protector.” Here was indeed the voice of nature,
of predestined tenderness; if her cousin had been there Nora would
have flung herself into his arms. She sat down at her writing-table,
with her brow in her hands, light-headed with her passionate purpose,
steadying herself to think. A day’s freedom had come at last; a
lifetime’s freedom confronted her. For, as you will have guessed,
immediate retrocession and departure had imperiously prescribed
themselves. Until this had taken place, there could be nothing but
deeper trouble. On the old terms there could be no clearing up; she
could speak to Roger again only in perfect independence. She must
throw off those suffocating bounties which had been meant to bribe
her to the service in which she had so miserably failed. Her failure
now she felt no impulse to question, her decision no energy to
revise. I shall have told my story ill if these things seem to lack
logic. The fault lay deeper and dated from longer ago than her
morning’s words of denial. Roger and she shared it between them; it
was a heavy burden for both.
She wrote her “line,” as she had promised Mrs. Keith, rapidly,
without erasure; then wrote another to Mrs. Keith, folded and
directed them and laid them on her dressing-table. She remembered
now, distinctly, that she had heard of a Sunday-evening train to New
York. She hastened down stairs, found in a newspaper the railway
advertisement, and learned that the train started at eight; satisfied
herself, too, that the coast was clear of servants, and that she
might depart unquestioned. She bade a gleeful farewell to her
borrowed possessions,—unearned wages, ineffective lures. She
exchanged the dress she had worn to church for an old black silk one,
put a few articles of the first necessity into a small
travelling-bag, and emptied her purse of all save a few dollars.
Then bonneted, shawled, veiled, with her bag in her hand, she went
forth into the street. She would begin as she would have to proceed;
she started for the station, savingly, on foot. Happily it was not
far off; she reached it through the wintry darkness, out of breath,
but in safety. She seemed to feel about her, as she went, the old
Bohemianism of her childhood; she was once more her father’s
daughter. She bought her ticket and found a seat in the train
without adventure; with a sort of shame, in fact, that this great
deed of hers should be so easy to do. But as the train rattled
hideously through the long wakeful hours of the night, difficulties
came thickly; in the mere oppression of her conscious purpose, in the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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