Watch Yourself Go ByField, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
General
Watch Yourself Go By
Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
Circus performers -- United States -- Biography; Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith), 1848-1921; Wit and humor
He returned to the room. Hurd was very crusty. He hinted that Alfred
should not have permitted the first circus agent to induce Harrison to
sign the shut-out contract.
Stowe, the circus agent, further endeared himself to Alfred when he
informed Mr. Hurd that Alfred should not be blamed.
Alfred, in the brief interview between the second agent and himself, had
informed him as to the contract made by the first agent, the price
charged for advertising, the free tickets extorted and other information
that was valuable.
The agent was very diplomatic. He began by calming Hurd: "Now, Mr. Hurd,
I know the value of your paper to us, I know you to be a man of honor,
and I would not offend you by even insinuating that you could find a
way to carry our advertising and reading matter as I know you would not
violate the contract made with the other concern, although it is evident
that contract was obtained by fraud. There is only one way around this;"
here the circus agent placed his hand on the shoulder of the big editor,
"we will have to get out an extra edition, their advertising and reading
matter to go in the regular edition, mine in the extra."
The editor beamed on the agent, the beam expressing more strongly than
any words: "You're a daisy--but, but," stammered Hurd, "we haven't got
matter enough for our regular edition. I've been working all morning;
Harrison's been drunk all week an'--"
"Never mind," interrupted the agent, "don't you worry, let me do the
work and the worrying also. Where can we get a little something to clear
the cobwebs out of our tonsils?" And they left the office arm in arm,
but not until the circus agent had asked Alfred if he knew where all the
office force could be found. Alfred answered "No, sir." And he was
truthful; as he was not certain whether he was on the stairs, on the
landing, at the top of the stairs or had rolled back to the bottom.
When the agent ordered Alfred to get the office force together and
inform them that they would have to work all night but would be paid
double time, Alfred ran upstairs, as was his custom, four steps at each
bound. Harrison was not on the stairs nor at the top landing. Running
into the press room, Alfred found Harrison sitting in the coal box,
sleeping soundly.
After vain efforts to arouse him, Alfred hastened to the residence of
Bill Smith who had once worked on the paper. Cal Wyatt had also served
some time setting type, and Baggy Allison was notified to repair to the
office instanter.
All were on hand when the circus man returned. Cal Wyatt, advised Alfred
to fill Harrison's mouth with salt, that it was a never failing remedy.
It did bring Harrison partly around, just enough to make him a pest, in
the way of all with both person and talk. He slobbered over copy and
case, hiccoughed, cursed Alfred for trying to doctor him; informing
Alfred that he wanted no "dam cow doctor to fool with him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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