Watch Yourself Go ByField, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
General
Watch Yourself Go By
Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
Circus performers -- United States -- Biography; Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith), 1848-1921; Wit and humor
Poor Jake was completely confused, dumfounded. Most conscientious,
honest and sincere, without deceit, he scarcely knew what to say to
explain that he was unfortunate and all that had happened was
unavoidable.
He said: "Meester Balmur, I'm werry sorry dot I haf you so much troubles
made. I haf neffer toldt you dot I cud do vork as Alfredt und Tom. I
cannot speek me plain und I did yust so goot as I cud. I am sorry I
kan't exbress my, my, my feelings mit dis ting, but I hope you must
exkuse me."
Palmer interrupted: "Oh, well; it's gone beyond my patience to stand it
longer. You are an incumbrance, you are a barnacle. I'll sell you my
interest in this enterprise and you can go on and run it; this
partnership business don't suit me." Palmer ended it by saying: "I'll
see you in the morning."
The little party with the panorama were generally quartered with members
of the congregation of the church in which the panorama exhibited. In
making contracts with the various churches, Palmer, whenever possible,
made it a part of the agreement that his people and horses were to be
boarded. One family would take Palmer and his wife, another a couple of
the others. When Palmer paid their board they were quartered in the
meanest, cheapest taverns or boarding houses in the town. At times the
company would lodge in a house the owners of which were very poor people
who were sorely in need.
It seemed to Alfred the more needy a family appeared, the more insistent
Palmer was in forcing pictures, books, etc., upon them. It was a trick
of his to hang a picture in the best room, place books on the center
table. If they insisted that conditions would not permit enjoying the
luxury of the books or pictures, Palmer would become insulting and
complain of the quality or quantity of the food.
Alfred and Jake were both so thoroughly ashamed at times they would go
elsewhere for their meals.
It happened that, when the trouble came up between Jake and Palmer, the
entire party were quartered at a modest little tavern kept by a
Pennsylvania Dutchman of large girth and little patience. Palmer had
failed to induce him or his good wife, who did all the cooking, to buy
pictures or books. "Ve vant no more picturs und ve don't reat der
pooks," was the argument with which the old fellow met all of Palmer's
solicitations.
After one of their arguments, Palmer, as usual, lost his patience: "What
sort of humans are you? You belong to no church. Where are you bound
for? Like Jake--hell, I suppose." Then he laughed sarcastically.
"Vell, ve haf got along always in Frostburgh und hell can't be much
vorse und if you vant to sell picturs und pooks to pay fur your bordt,
you besser stop mit Con Lynch (referring to a rival tavern). Ve don't
keep travelers to kepp oudt of hell, ve keep bordters to keep oudt of
der poor house."
Palmer answered the old fellow's argument with a reply that he thought
humorous: "Well, if I'd thought there was a poorer house in town than
yours I'd stopped there."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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