Watch Yourself Go ByField, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
General
Watch Yourself Go By
Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
Circus performers -- United States -- Biography; Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith), 1848-1921; Wit and humor
An old lady opened her envelope containing a pair of ear-rings. Handing
them to Alfred she remarked: "I hope there's no mistake here, the ticket
reads ear-rings, these are chandeliers."
The stool pigeon, after receiving the money for the capital prize,
wandered leisurely out of the hall. He was supposed to be met by the
fixer of the "Gift Show", to whom he was to return the money the boss
had given him.
Alfred's friend played his part capitally. He sauntered out leisurely;
he did not saunter out of the main door, or, if he did, the fixer failed
to meet him. The hall was empty save for the two or three stragglers and
the manager.
The fixer entered hurriedly, looking sharply around the almost vacant
room, he whispered with the boss. They turned their glances toward
Alfred. It was an illusion of the boss and his staff that others of the
company were ignorant of the deception practiced in the awarding of the
capital prize.
The boss called Alfred to his room and questioned him at length as to
the gentleman he had introduced as his friend. Alfred stated when the
Eli minstrels were touring Greene County the gentleman accompanied them
several days. His companionship was so agreeable that Eli remained
behind in Carmichaelstown a day or two.
The boss had learned the fellow was a short card player, and he swore he
would not allow a cheap poker player to do him.
"Fix the olly! I gave him broads to the show! He's right as a guinea!
Fix him! Have this cheap Greene County bilk pinched. I'll land him in
the quay."
All of this, interpreted, meant that the boss wanted the winner of the
capital prize arrested and thrown into jail. He did not dare proceed
against him for holding out the money he had given him. To attempt to
recover it by law would expose their nefarious practice.
There was hurrying to and fro and in hot haste but nothing as to the
whereabouts of the gentleman could be learned. The constable searched
all night, and the fixer remained with him as long as he could keep pace
with the officer. Weary, blear-eyed, unsteady on his limbs, he finally
lay down on a bench in the hotel sitting room and was awakened only by
the breakfast bell.
Next morning he was very surly. He ordered Alfred in a very rude manner
to remove two large boxes of jewelry from the hotel to the theatre and
to remove the boxes as soon as he got through his breakfast: "and don't
eat all day either."
Alfred did not eat all day; in fact he ate but little. He was choking
with wrath over the insult the man had put upon him. Taking himself from
the table he awaited the coming of the man. As he emerged from the
dining room, Alfred halted him with: "I say, you ordered me to move some
baggage from the hotel to the theatre. I just called upon you to tell
you that you ain't my boss; you didn't hire me, you don't pay me;
furthermore, I did not hire out to this troupe to peddle brass jewelry
or handle baggage. You move the boxes yourself."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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