Cambridge (England) -- Fiction; College teachers -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Marriage -- Fiction
Howard stood blankly staring at the group. "I don't understand," he
said; "the child is dead--yes, but what about Maud?"
The doctor came up to him. "It was sudden," he said; "she had an
attack--we had anticipated it--the child was born dead; but there is
every reason to believe that she will recover; it has been a great
shock, but she is young and strong, and she is full of pluck--you need
not be anxious at present; there is no imminent danger." Then he added,
"Mr. Kennedy, get some rest yourself; she may need you, and you must
not be useless: I tell you, the first danger is over and will not
recur; you must just force yourself to eat--try to sleep."
"Sleep?" said Howard with a wan smile, "yes, if you could tell me how
to do that!"
The doctors departed; Howard went off with Mrs. Graves. She made him
sit down, she told him a few details; then she said, "Dearest boy, it's
no use wasting words or pity just now--you know what I feel; I would
tell you plainly if I feared the worst. I do NOT fear it, and now let
me exercise my art on you, for I am sure I can help you a little. One
must not play with these things, but this is in earnest."
She came and sate down beside him, and stroked his hair, his brow; she
said, "Just try, if you can, to cast everything out of your mind; relax
your limbs, be entirely passive; and don't listen to what I say--just
let your mind float free." Presently she began to speak in a low voice
to him; he hardly heeded what she said, for a strange drowsiness
settled down upon him like the in-flowing of some oblivious tide, and
he knew no more.
A couple of hours later he awoke from a deep sleep, with a sense of
sweet visions and experiences--he looked round. Mrs. Graves sate beside
him smiling, but the horror suddenly darted back into his mind with a
spasm of fear, as if he had been bitten by a poisonous serpent.
"What has been happening?" he said.
"Ah," said Mrs. Graves quietly, "you have been asleep. I have some
power in these things, which I don't use except in times of need--some
day I will tell you more; I found it out by accident, but I have used
it both for myself and others. It's just a natural force, of which many
people are suspicious, because it doesn't seem normal; but don't be
afraid, dear boy--all goes well; she is sleeping quietly, and she knows
what has happened."
"Thank you," said Howard; "yes, I am better; but I could almost wish I
had not slept--I feel the pain of it more. I don't feel just now as if
anything in the world could make up for this--as if anything could make
it seem just to endure such misery. What has one done to deserve it?"
"What indeed?" said Mrs. Graves, "because the time will come when you
will ask that in a different sense. Don't you see, dear boy, that even
this is life's fulness? One mustn't be afraid of suffering--what one
must be afraid of is NOT suffering; it's the measure of love--you would
not part with your love if that would free you from suffering?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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