“He lived just long enough,” she resumed, “to see how miserably his
scheme had failed. I had married to please him and to help the family.
Well, my sister’s husband, with no help at all from me or my position,
got an excellent appointment in Ceylon, so there again the scheme proved
useless. Three years ago my mother went out to live with her there, she
could do nothing to make me less miserable, and it only pained her to
see my unhappiness. She realises things less at a distance, and now she
is too much of an invalid to bear the return voyage. A year ago they
sent me back Charlie, Clara’s little boy, and he has been a great
comfort. Except for him I am quite alone.”
“I want you to understand,” said Macneillie, “that it is still my
highest happiness to serve you. It is quite possible that in the
difficult position you are in you may need the help of a friend.”
“Do I deserve your friendship?” she said questioningly; “you stood
aloof all these years--you would not be my friend then, though I asked
you.”
“If I had been a worse man I should have accepted the place you offered
in your company,” said Macneillie; “or perhaps if I had been a better
man, I could entirely have effaced myself and dared to take such a
perilous post. But as things were, it seemed best to go right away. Did
you not understand?”
“Yes, yes,” she said in a choked voice. “I understood--and honoured you.
Is it only seven years since you and I acted together? It seems to me
a life-time. All that has gone between has been a sort of dreadful
nightmare. And the worst of it was the feeling that I had deserved the
misery, had deliberately chosen the low level and fought against you
when you tried to drag me up. Oh, it is so long since I had a real
friend to talk to--may I tell you all?”
“Of course,” he said, gently. “Why not?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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