WaynfleteColeridge, Christabel R. (Christabel Rose)
General
Waynflete
Coleridge, Christabel R. (Christabel Rose)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
What was this, that mingled with, that almost lightened his formless
horror? It was the old familiar panic that he knew so well; the
physical terror that was wont to seize upon him unawares. It did not
surprise him that there, on the centre of the crazy bridge, stood,
visible to his eye, the "counterfeit presentment" of the terror that he
felt within, the ghostly image of his ancestor and of himself. He sank
down on his knees, he could not stand, or he must have turned and fled.
The form was shadowy, but the awful, hopeless, evil eyes were clear as
if they looked close into his own, much clearer, as he knew, than mortal
eyes could have been, so far off, in so dim a light. He and his Double
looked at each other. Guy was perfectly conscious, wide awake, alive
all through. He fell forward on the grass, and hid his face, but the
companion Presence was not to be so shut out. "Feeling," as he had
said, was worse than seeing. He looked up again.
"Will he come here, if I don't go there?"
And, suddenly, he knew that _he had a choice_. Through his agony of
nerve and bewilderment of brain this conviction shot like an arrow.
"I shall fall, or he'll drown me. I can never pass him; but _I can
try_."
He staggered up on to his feet. His soul was set on edge by the jarring
contact of this thing of evil, to draw near, instead of to fly, was more
than flesh and blood could bear. He broke into a wild, mad fit of
laughter--laughter that echoed, till he did not know which laughed,
himself or his Double. They seemed to mock and to defy each other.
"Myself or my devil!" shouted the living Guy. "If you kill me, or damn
me, you shall not stop me! Here or there--within or without. Come with
me if you choose, I'll not be too late!"
He staggered forward, his head swam, his eyes grew dizzy, his Double
swayed before him, he knew not which was plank and which whirling,
rushing water. Then, in the murky, swinging mist, there was a sense of
something still and blue, and, for an instant, Florella's face.
He sprang at it, and knew no more, till he found himself lying on the
stones, half in and half out of the shallow water. The bridge was
behind him, and, as he looked fearfully round, the haunting figure still
before. Yes, before him on the hillside. It had _come with him_, while
the angel face that had saved him was gone.
He came to himself, as usual, with the sense of deathlike fainting and
sinking, which he knew too well. It was almost dark, he had no idea of
the time, or whether he had been moments or hours in crossing the
bridge. He had no longer any thoughts, hardly any fears. No words of
prayer had come through to him in the awful conflict; but now, as he
tried to move and lift himself up, he instinctively murmured, over and
over, like a lost child, "Oh God, help me to get up the hill."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Volume One.
PART TWO, CHAPTER SEVEN.
WAITING FOR GUY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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