"Then you too, you the Builder of the _Integral_! You, whose lot
it was to become the greatest of all _conquistadores_! You whose
name was to have been at the head of a glorious, new chapter of the
history of the United State! You...."
Blood ran to my head, to my cheeks,--and here again a white page;
only the pulsation in my temples and the heavy voice from above;
but I remember not a word. Only when He became silent I came to
and noticed how His hand moved heavily like a thousand pounds, and
crawled slowly,--a finger threatened me.
"Well! Why are you silent? Is it true, or not? Executioner? So!"
"So," I repeated submissively. And then I clearly heard every word
of His.
"Well then? Do you think I am afraid of the word! Did you ever try
to take off its shell and look into its inner meaning? I shall tell
you.... Remember a blue hill, a crowd, a cross? Some up on the hill,
sprinkled with blood, are busy nailing a body to the cross; others
below, sprinkled with tears, are gazing upward. Does it not seem to
you that the part which those above must play is the more difficult,
the most important part? If it were not for them, how could that
magnificent tragedy ever have been staged? True, they were hissed
by the dark crowd but for that the author of the tragedy, God,
should have remunerated them the more liberally, should he not?
And the Christian, most clement God himself, who burnt on a slow
fire all the infidels, is he not an executioner? Was the number
of those burned by the Christians less than the number of burned
Christians? Yet (you must understand this!), yet this God was for
centuries glorified as the God of love! Absurd? Oh, no. Just the
contrary. It is rather a patent for the imperishable wisdom of man,
written in blood. Even at the time when he still was wild and hairy
man knew that real, algebraic love for humanity must inevitably be
inhuman, and that the inevitable mark of truth is cruelty, just as
the inevitable mark of fire is its property of causing the sensation
of burning. Could you show me a fire that would not hurt? Well,
prove now your point! Proceed! Argue!"
How could I argue? How could I argue when those thoughts were once
mine, though I was never able to dress them in such a splendid,
tempered armor. I remained silent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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