We and the World: A Book for Boys. Part IIEwing, Juliana Horatia
General
We and the World: A Book for Boys. Part II
Ewing, Juliana Horatia
Sea stories
We stood at attention, but never can I forget the agony of the next few
minutes. That hat, that face, those flat black feet, that strut, that
smile. I felt a sob of laughter beginning somewhere about my waist-belt,
and yet my heart ached with fear for Dennis. Oh, if only His
Magnificence would move a little quicker, and let us have it over!
There's a fish at Bermuda that is known as the toad-fish (so Alfonso
told me), and when you tickle it it blows itself out after the manner of
the frog who tried to be as big as an ox. It becomes as round as a
football, and if you throw it on the water it floats. If you touch it it
sounds (according to Alfonso) "all same as a banjo." It will live some
time out of water; and if it shows any signs of subsiding, another
tickle will blow it out again. "Too muchee tickle him burst," said
Alfonso. I had heard this decidedly nasty story just before the pilot's
departure, and it was now the culmination of all the foolish thoughts
that gibbered in my head. I couldn't help thinking of it as I held my
breath to suppress my laughter, and quaked for the yet more volatile
Dennis. Oh, dear! Why wouldn't that mass of absurdity walk quicker? His
feet were big enough. Meanwhile we stood like mutes--eyes front! To have
looked at each other would have been fatal. "Too muchee tickle him
burst." I hope we looked grave (I have little doubt now that we looked
as if we were having our photographs taken). The sob had mounted from my
waist to my throat. My teeth were set, my eyes watered, but the pilot
was here now. In a moment he would be down the side. With an excess of
zeal I found strength to raise my hand for a salute.
I fear it was this that pleased him, and made him stop; and we couldn't
help looking at him. His hat was a little set back for the heat, his
black triangular feet were in the third position of dancing. He smiled.
There was an explosive sound to my right. I knew what it meant. Dennis
had "burst."
And then I never felt less like laughing in my life. Visions of
insubordination, disrespect, mutiny, flogging, and black-hole, rushed
through my head, and I had serious thoughts of falling on my knees
before the insulted pilot. With unfeigned gratitude I record that he
was as magnanimous as he was magnificent. He took no revenge, except in
words. What he said was,
"Me one coloured gentleman. You one dam mean white trash ob common
sailor. YAH!"
And with unimpaired dignity he descended the ladder and was rowed away
over the prismatic waters. And Alister and I turned round to look for
Dennis, and found him sitting in the scuppers, wiping the laughter-tears
out of his thick eyelashes.
There was something fateful about that evening, which was perhaps what
made the air so heavy. If I had been keeping the log, I should have made
the following entry: "Captain got drunk. A ring round the moon. Alister
and Dennis quarrelsome."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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