New York (State) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Jim Dyckman stood and faced the ocean. Once more he discovered that life
was too much for him to understand. He was ashamed of himself for his
vain endeavor to envelop Charity Coe and absorb her into the deeps of
his love. He was most ashamed because he had failed and must slither
back into the undertow with the many other men whom Charity had refused
to love.
He was ashamed of Charity Coe, too, for squandering her prime and her
pride. He was enraged at her blindness to Pete Cheever's duplicity or
her complacency with it. He hated Charity for a while--nearly. At any
rate he was ashamed of her, ashamed of the world, in a rebel mood.
As he stood wind-blown and spray-flogged and glad to be beaten, a shabby
old carriage went by. It was piled to overflowing with some of Miss
Silsby's girls taking a seeing-Newport tour on the cheap.
The driver was, or said he had been in his time, coachman to some of the
oldest families. He ventured their names with familiarity and knew their
houses by heart. He told quaint stories of their ways, how old Mrs.
Noxon once swore down a mutinous stableman, how Miss Wossom ran
away with her coachman. There was something finely old-fashioned
and conservative about that. A new-rich would have run away with a
chauffeur.
The driver knew Jim Dyckman's back and pointed him out. The girls
laughed, remembering Kedzie's encounter with him. They laughed so loud
that Dyckman turned, startled by the racket. But the carriage rolled
them away and he did not hear them wondering what had become of Kedzie.
The gloaming saddened them, and they felt very sorry for her. But Jim
Dyckman gave her no thought.
He was tearing apart his emotions toward Charity and resolving that he
must never see her again. In the analytical chemistry of the soul he
found that this resolution was three parts hopelessness of winning her,
three parts a decent sense of the wickedness of courting another man's
woman, three parts resentment at her for treating him properly, and
one part a feeling that he would make himself most valuable to her by
staying away.
Never a homeless dog slinking through an alley in search of a sidelong
ash-barrel to sleep in felt more poverty-stricken, woebegone, than Jim
Dyckman. He moped along the stately road, as much afraid of his future
as Kedzie had been, trudging the same highway. She had wondered if board
and lodging would fail her. This was not Jim Dyckman's fear, but his own
was as great, for everybody was some dreadful elbow-companion.
Lucian showed Jupiter himself cowering on his throne in the sky and
twiddling his thunderbolt with trembling hand as he wondered what the
fates held in store for him, and saw on earth the increasing impudence
of the skeptics.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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