On this morning she took her place, as she had done hundreds of times
before, and was soon hard at work. She was finishing her last paper on
Livingstone when a book she had ordered was deposited on her desk by one
of the noiseless attendants. She wanted it to verify one or two dates,
and she half thought she would try to hunt up Charles Osmond's anecdote.
In order to write her series of papers, she had been obliged to study
the character of the great explorer pretty thoroughly. She had always
been able to see the nobility even of those differing most widely
from herself in point of creed, and the great beauty of Livingstone's
character had impressed her very much. Today she happened to open on
an entry in his journal which seemed particularly characteristic of the
man. He was in great danger from the hostile tribes at the union of
the Zambesi and Loangwa, and there was something about his spontaneous
utterance which appealed very strongly to Erica.
“Felt much turmoil of spirit in view of having all my plans for the
welfare of this great region and teeming population knocked on the head
by savages tomorrow. But I read that Jesus came and said: 'All power
is given unto me in Heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore and teach all
nations, and lo! I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.'
It is the word of a gentleman of the most sacred and strictest honor,
and there's an end on't. I will not cross furtively by night as I
intended... Nay, verily, I shall take observations for latitude and
longitude tonight, though they may be the last.”
The courage, the daring, the perseverance, the intense faith of the man
shone out in these sentences. Was it indeed a delusion, such practical
faith as that?
Blackness of darkness seemed to hem her in. She struggled through it
once more by the one gleam of certainty which had come to her in the
past year. Truth must be self-revealing. Sooner or later, if she were
honest, if she did not shut her mind deliberately up with the assurance
“You have thought out these matters fully and fairly; enough! Let us
now rest content” and if she were indeed a true “Freethinker,” she MUST
know. And even as that conviction returned to her the words half quaint,
half pathetic, came to her mind: “It is the word of a gentleman of the
most sacred and strictest honor, and there's an end on't.”
Yes, there would “be an end on't,” if she could feel sure that he, too,
was not deluded.
She turned over the pages of the book, and toward the end found a copy
of the inscription on Livingstone's tomb. Her eye fell on the words:
“And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must
bring, and they shall hear My voice.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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