A horrible vision rose before him. He saw her lying stiff and cold,
with glazed eyes and drenched hair. Was there to be a yet more terrible
separation between them? Was death to snatch her from him? Ah, no that
should never be! They would at least go down together.
The vision faded; he saw once more the fair, eager face, no longer
pallid, but flushed with excitement, the brave eyes clear and bright,
but somewhat anxious. The consciousness that everything depended on him
helped him to rise above that overmastering horror. He was once more his
strongest self.
The rudder had been left on the beach, and it was only possible to steer
by the oars. He dismissed even the thought of Erica, and concentrated
his whole being on the difficult task before him. So grand did he look
in that tremendous endeavor that Erica almost forgot her anxiety; there
was something so forceful in his whole aspect that she could not be
afraid. Her heart beat quickly indeed, but the consciousness of danger
was stimulating.
Yet the waves grew more and more furious, rolling, curling, dashing up
in angry, white foam “raging horribly.” At length came one which broke
right over the little boat, blinding and drenching its occupants.
“Another like that will do for us,” Said Raeburn, in a quiet voice.
The boat was half full of water. Erica began to bale out with her
father's hat, and each knew from the other's face that their plight was
hopeless.
Raeburn had faced death many times. He had faced it more than once on a
sick bed, he had faced it surrounded by yelling and furious mobs, but he
had never faced it side by side with his child. Again he looked at the
angry gray-green waves, at the wreaths of curling white foam, again that
awful vision rose before him, and, brave man as he was, he shuddered.
Life was sweet even though he was harassed, persecuted, libeled. Life
was sweet even though his child had deserted his cause, even though she
had “cheated herself into a belief.” Life was infinitely worth
living, mere existence an exquisite joy, blank nothingness a hideous
alternative.
“Bale out!” he cried, despair in his eyes, but a curve of resoluteness
about his lips.
A few more strokes warily pulled, another huge wave sweeping along,
rearing itself up, dashing down upon them. The boat reeled and
staggered. To struggle longer was useless. Raeburn threw his oars
inboard, caught hold of Erica, and held her fast. When they could see
once more, they found the boat quite three parts full.
“Child!” he said, “child!” But nothing more would come. For once in his
life words failed him; the orator was speechless. Was it a minute or an
eternity that he waited there through that awful pause waited with his
arm round Erica, feeling the beating of her heart, the heart which must
soon cease beating forever, feeling her warm breath on his cheek alas!
How few more breaths would she draw! How soon would the cold water grave
close over all that he--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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