English drama -- 17th century; English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_Charl._ What? Have I killed him? Whatsoe'er thou beest,
I would thy hand had prospered. For I was
Unfit to live and well prepared to die.
What shall I do? Accuse myself? Submit
Me to the law? And that will quickly end
This violent increase of misery.
But 'tis a murder to be accessory
To mine own death. I will not. I will take
This opportunity to 'scape. It may
Be Heaven reserves me to some better end. [_Exit._
_Enter_ LANGUEBEAU SNUFFE _and_ SOQUETTE.
_Soqu._ Nay, good sir, I dare not. In good sooth I come of a generation
both by father and mother that were all as fruitful as costermongers'
wives.
_Lang._ Tush! then a tympany[170] is the greatest danger can be feared.
Their fruitfulness turns but to a certain kind of phlegmatic windy
disease.
_Soqu._ I must put my understanding to your trust, sir. I would be loth
to be deceived.
_Lang._ No, conceive thou sha't not. Yet thou shalt profit by my
instruction too. My body is not every day drawn dry, wench.
_Soqu._ Yet methinks, sir, your want of use should rather make your
body like a well,--the lesser 'tis drawn, the sooner it grows dry.
_Lang._ Thou shalt try that instantly.
_Soqu._ But we want place and opportunity.
_Lang._ We have both. This is the back side of the house which the
superstitious call St. Winifred's church, and is verily a convenient
unfrequented place.--
Where under the close curtains of the night--
_Soqu._ You purpose i' the dark to make me light.
[SNUFFE _pulls out a sheet, a hair, and a beard._
But what ha' you there?
_Lang._ This disguise is for security's sake, wench. There's a talk,
thou know'st, that the ghost of old Montferrers walks. In this church
he was buried. Now if any stranger fall upon us before our business
be ended, in this disguise I shall be taken for that ghost, and never
be called to examination, I warrant thee. Thus we shall 'scape both
prevention and discovery. How do I look in this habit, wench?
_Soqu._ So like a ghost that notwithstanding I have some foreknowledge
of you, you make my hair stand almost on end.
_Lang._ I will try how I can kiss in this beard. O, fie, fie, fie! I
will put it off and then kiss, and then put it on. I can do the rest
without kissing.
_Re-enter_ CHARLEMONT _doubtfully, with his sword drawn; he comes upon
them before they are aware. They run out different ways, leaving the
disguise behind._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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