Hester could not help being thrilled by the rhythm, moved by the poetic
phrase, and penetrated by the air of poetic thought that pervaded the
utterance--which would doubtless indeed have entranced many a smaller
woman than herself, yet was not altogether pleased. Never yet had she
reached anything like a moment concerning which even in transient mood
she could pray, "Let it last forever!" Nor was the present within sight
of any reason why she should not wish it to make way for a better behind
it. But the show of such feeling in Vavasor, was at least the unveiling
of a soul of song in him, of such a nature, such a relation to upper
things that he must one day come to feel the highest, and know a bliss
beyond all feeble delights of the mere human imagination. She must not
be captious and contrary with the poor fellow, she thought--that would
be as bad as to throw aside her poor people: he was afflicted with the
same poverty that gave all the sting to theirs. To be a true woman she
must help all she could help--rich or poor, nor show favor. "Thou shalt
not countenance a poor man in his cause."
"I do not _quite_ understand you," she said. "I can scarcely
imagine the time should ever come when I should wish it, or even be
content that it should last for ever."
"Have you had so little happiness?" he asked sympathetically.
"I do not mean that," she replied. "Indeed I have had a great deal--more
than all but a very few, I should imagine. But I do not think much of
happiness. Perhaps that is a sign--I daresay it is--that I have not had
much of what is not happiness. But no amount of happiness that I have
known yet would make me wish the time to stand still. I want to be
always growing--and while one is growing Time cannot stand if he would:
you drag him on with you! I want, if you would like it better put in
that way, to be always becoming more and more capable of happiness.
Whether I have it or not, I must be and ought to be capable of it."
"Ah!" returned Vavasor, "you are as usual out of sight beyond me. You
must take pity on me and carry me with you, else you will leave me miles
behind, and I shall never look on you again; and what eternity would be
to me without your face to look at, God only knows. There will be no
punishment necessary for me but to know that there is a gulf I cannot
pass between us."
"But why should it be so!" answered Hester almost tenderly. "Our fate is
in our own hands. It is ours to determine the direction in which we
shall go. I don't want to preach to you, dear Mr. Vavasor, but so much
surely one friend may say to another! Why should not every one be
reasonable enough to seek the one best thing, and then there would be no
parting; whereas all the love and friendship in the world would not
suffice to keep people together if they were inwardly parted by such
difference as you imply."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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