Hester was silent, thinking how to begin her communication about
Cornelius. Uncomfortable from the contretemps, as well as from what she
had now to do, and irritated at the tone in which his lordship had
expressed the surprise he could not help feeling at sight of her so
accompanied and attended, she had felt for a moment as if the best thing
would be to break with him at once. But she was too just, had she not
had too much regard for him, to do so. She felt, however, for that one
moment very plainly, that the relation between them was far from the
ideal. Another thing was yet clearer: if he could feel such surprise and
annoyance at the circumstances in which he had just met her, it would be
well to come to a clearer understanding at once concerning her
life-ideal and projects. But she would make up her mind to nothing till
she saw how he was going to carry himself now his surprise had had time
to pass off: perhaps it would not be necessary to tell him anything
about Corney! they might part upon other grounds! In the one case it
would be she, in the other it would be he that broke off the engagement:
she would rather it were his doing than hers! No doubt she would stand
better in the eyes of the world if she dismissed him; but that was an
aspect of the affair she would never have deigned to heed had it
presented itself.
These thoughts, with what of ratiocination was in them, hardly passed
through her mind; it was filled, rather, with a confused mass of tangled
thought and feeling, which tossed about in it like the nets of a fishing
fleet rolled together by a storm.
Not before they reached the house did lord Gartley speak, and Hester
began to wonder if he might not already have heard of Cornelius. It was
plain he was troubled; plain too he was only waiting for the coverture
of the house to speak. It should be easy, oh, very easy for him to get
rid of her. He need not be anxious about that!
It was doubtless shock upon shock to the sensitive nature of his
lordship to find, when they reached the house, that, instead of ringing
the bell, she took a latch-key from her pocket, opened the door herself,
and herself closed it behind them. It was just as a bachelor might enter
his chambers! It did not occur to him that it was just such as his
bachelor that ought not to have the key, and such as Hester that ought
to have it, to let them come and go as the angels. She led the way up
the stair. Not a movement of life was audible in the house! The
stillness was painful.
"Did no one come up with you?" he asked.
"No one but major Marvel," she answered, and opened the door of the
drawing-room.
As she opened it, she woke to the consciousness that she was very cross,
and in a mood to make her unfair to Gartley: the moment she had closed
it, she turned to him and said,
"Forgive me, Gartley; I am in trouble; we are all in trouble. When I
have told you about it, I shall be more at ease."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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