He went to see how his wife was. Finding that, notwithstanding all she
had gone through the day before, she was a trifle better, he felt a
little angry and not a little annoyed: what added to his misery was a
comfort to her! she was the happier for having her worthless son! In the
selfishness of his misery he looked upon this as lack of sympathy with
himself. Such weakness vexed him too, in the wife to whom he had for so
many years looked up with more than respect, with even unacknowledged
reverence. He did not allude to Cornelius, but said he was going for a
walk, and went to find Mark--with a vague hope of consolation in the
child who had clung to him so confidently in the night. He had forgotten
it was not to him _his soul_ had clung, but to the father of both.
Mark was in the nursery, as the children's room was still called. The
two never quarrelled; had they been two Saffies, they would have
quarrelled and made it up twenty times a day. When Mark heard his
father's step, he bounded to meet him; and when his sweet moonlit rather
than sunshiny face appeared at the door, the gloom on his father's
yielded a little; the gleam of a momentary smile broke over it, and he
said kindly:
"Come, Mark, I want you to go for a walk with me."
"Yes, papa," answered the boy.--"May Saffy come too?"
The father was not equal however to the company of two of his children,
and Mark alone proceeded to get ready, while Saffy sulked in a corner.
But he was not doing the right thing in taking him out. He ought to have
known that the boy was not able for anything to be called a walk;
neither was the weather fit for his going out. But absorbed in his own
trouble, the father did not think of his weakness; and Hester not being
by to object, away they went. Mark was delighted to be his father's
companion, never doubted all was right that he wished, and forgot his
weakness as entirely as did his father.
With his heart in such a state the father naturally had next to nothing
to say to his boy, and they walked on in silence. The silence did not
affect Mark; he was satisfied to be with his father whether he spoke to
him or not--too blessed in the long silences between him and God to
dislike silence. It was no separation--so long as like speech it was
between them. For a long time he was growing tired without knowing it:
when weariness became conscious at last, it was all at once, and poor
Mark found he could scarcely put one leg past the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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