Hester, who had never received from her half so much show of tenderness,
could not help, like the elder brother in the divine tale, a little
choking at the sight, but she soon consoled herself that the less poor
Corney deserved it the more he needed it. The worst of it to Hester was
that she could not with any confidence look on the prodigal as a
repentant one; and if he was not, all this tenderness, she feared and
with reason, would do him harm, causing him to think less of his crime,
and blinding him to his low moral condition. But she thought also that
God would do what he could to keep the love of such a mother from
hurting; and it was not long before she was encouraged by a softness in
Corney's look, and a humid expression in his eyes which she had never
seen before. Doubtless had he been as in former days, he would have
turned from such over flow of love as womanish gush; but disgraced, worn
out, and even to his own eyes an unpleasant object, he was not so much
inclined to repel the love of the only one knowing his story who did not
feel for him more or less contempt. Sometimes in those terrible
half-dreams in the dark of early morn when suddenly waked by conscience
to hold a _tete-a-tete_ with her, he would imagine himself walking
into the bank, and encountering the eyes of all the men on his way to
his uncle, whom next to his father he feared--then find himself running
for refuge to the bosom of his mother. She was true to him yet! he would
say: yes, he used the word! he said _true!_ Slowly, slowly,
something was working on him--now in the imagined judgment of others,
now in the thought of his wife, now in the devotion of his mother.
Little result was there for earthly eye, but the mother's perceived or
imagined a difference in him. If only she could descry something plain
to tell her husband! If the ice that froze up the spring of his love
would but begin to melt! For to whom are we to go for refuge from
ourselves if not to those through whom we were born into the world, and
who are to blame for more or less of our unfitness for a true
life?--"His father _must_ forgive him!" she said to herself. She
would go down on her knees to him. Their boy should _not_ be left
out in the cold! If he had been guilty, what was that to the cruel world
so ready to punish, so ready to do worse! The mother still carried in
her soul the child born of her body, preparing for him the new and
better, the all-lovely birth of repentance unto life.
Hester had not yet said a word about her own affairs. No one but the
major knew that her engagement to lord Gartley was broken. She was not
willing to add yet an element of perturbance to the overcharged
atmosphere; she would not add disappointment to grief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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