She began at once to teach her music: the sooner a beginning was made
the better! Her fingers were stiff, but so was her will: the way she
stuck to her work was pathetic. Here also she understood quickly, but
the doing of what she understood she found very hard--the more so that
her spirit was but ill at ease. Corney had deceived her; he had done
something wrong besides; she was parted from him, and could realize
little of his surroundings; all was very different from what she had
expected in marrying her Corney! Also, from her weariness and anxiety in
nursing him, and from other causes as well, her health was not what it
had been. Then Hester's letters were a little stiff! She felt it without
knowing what she felt, or why they made her uncomfortable. It was from
no pride or want of love they were such, but from her uncertainty--the
discomfort of knowing they were no nearer a solution of their difficulty
than when they parted at the railway: she did not even know yet what she
was going to do in the matter! This prevented all free flow of
communication. Unable to say what she would have liked to say, unwilling
to tell the uncomfortable condition of things, there rose a hedge and
seemed to sink a gulf between her and her sister. Amy therefrom,
naturally surmised that the family was not willing to receive her, and
that the same unwillingness though she was too good to yield to it, was
in Hester also. It was not in her. How she might have taken his marriage
had Corney remained respectable, I am not sure; but she knew that the
main hope for her brother lay in his love for Amy and her devotion to
him--in her common sense, her true, honest, bright nature. She was only
far too good for Corney!
Then again Amy noted, for love and anxiety made her very sharp, that
Miss Dasomma did not read to her every word of Hester's letters. Once
she stopped suddenly in the middle of a sentence, and after a pause went
on with another! Something was there she was not to know! It might have
some reference to her husband! If so, then something was not going right
with him! Was he worse and were they afraid to tell her, lest she should
go to him! Perhaps they were treating him as her aunts treated
her--making his life miserable--and she not with him to help him to bear
it! All no doubt because she had married him! It explained his deceiving
her! If he had told them, as he ought to have done, they would not have
let her have him at all, and what would have become of her without her
Corney! He ought not certainly to have told her lies, but if anything
could excuse him, so that making the best of things, and excusing her
husband all she could, she was in danger of lowering her instinctively
high sense of moral obligation.
She brooded over the matter but not long, she threw herself on her
knees, and begged her friend to let her know what the part of her
sister's letter she had not read to her was about.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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