She wondered if he had known how great was her temptation to throw
herself into his arms upon that morning when he had stood before her
to tell her in his own fashion that he loved her. Such a temptation had
indeed been hers, and though during the weeks that passed between the
arrival of the telegram that told her of Claude's safety and his return,
she had often reproached herself for having had that temptation even for
a moment, yet now the thought that she had had it brought her comfort.
She thought of Claude Westwood by the side of Sir Percival, and she knew
which of them was the true man.
Noble, honourable, self-sacrificing, Sir Percival had never once spoken
to her of his love since that morning, though he had seen how she had
been treated by the man to whom she had been faithful with a constancy
passing all the constancy of women. So far from speaking to her of his
love for her, he had done his best to comfort her when he had seen that
Claude on his return treated her with indifference, giving himself up to
the savage thoughts that possessed him--the savage thirst for blood that
he had acquired among the savages.
She remembered how Sir Percival had told her that Claude was not
himself--that he had not recovered from the shock which he had received
on learning of the death of the brother whom he loved so well, and that
so soon as he recovered she would find that he had been as constant to
her as she had been to him.
It was to this effect Sir Percival had spoken, and she, alas! had felt
comforted in the hope that she would be able to win him back to her.
That had been her thought for weeks; but now.... Well, now her thought
was:
“Why did I not yield to that temptation to throw myself into his arms
and trust my future with him on that day when he confessed his love to
me?”
It was a passionate regret that took possession of her for a moment as
she let fall the curtain through which she had been looking over the
still grey landscape, with a touch of mist clinging here and there to
the sides of the valley, and giving a semblance of foliage to the low
alders that bordered the meadows.
“Why--why--why?” was the question that was ringing round her while her
maid was brushing her hair. She had ceased to think of her constancy as
a virtue. She was beginning to yield to the impression that only grief
could follow those who elected to be constant, when every impulse of
Nature was in the direction of inconstancy. One does not mourn for ever
over the dead; when a woman has been inconstant in her love for a man,
the man is chagrined for a while, but he soon consoles himself by loving
another woman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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