Which was the dream--the man whom she seemed to see hurrying away from
the house, or the man whom she seemed to see coming toward her amid the
same whirling leaves, out from the same grey October landscape?
That was the form taken by her thoughts as she stood there. The
landscape was precisely the same as it had been when she had awaited his
coming to bid her good-bye before starting on his expedition. The same
soft greyness was in the sky, the same skeleton trees stretched their
gaunt arms out over the road; the sodden green of the grassy meadows,
the great, bloom of the chrysanthemums that hid the garden walls, all
were the same as they had been; but there was a man hurrying away on the
road by which she had stood to watch his approach nine years before.
It seemed to her that she was having but another of the many dreams that
had come to her of that man; yes, or was it the memory of a dream that
returned to her at that moment--a dream of a devoted lover coming to
hold her in his arms and to kiss her face before setting out on the
expedition that was to bring honour to him--that was to give him a name
of honour which she would share with him?
Which was the dream? Were both dreams? Had she passed her life in a
dream, and had she only awakened now?
She drew her hand across her eyes and turned away from the window with
an exclamation of impatience. But then she seated herself in front of
the fire and bent forward, gazing into the glowing log that had burnt
itself out in the grate.
Yes, she was awake now. She could look back and see clearly all that had
taken place since she had had that dream of kissing a man and bidding
him go forth and win a name for himself. She saw clearly that she had
built up for herself the baseless fabric of a vision--that her life had
been built upon a foundation no more substantial than air, and now she
was sitting among its ruins.
She had lived with but one thought, with but one hope, ever before her,
and that hope was to hear the footsteps of the man whom she loved,
on the gravel of the drive down which he had gone after bidding her
good-bye. Well, her hope had been realised. She had heard the sound of
his feet coming to her--yes, and going from her. Heaven had answered her
prayer--the one prayer which she had cried through all the years. She
only asked to see him again; all the happiness to follow she took for
granted.
And now she was seated gazing at the ashes of the log that had once been
a tree--at the ashes of the love that had once been her life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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