She was full of amazement. How had this wonderful thing come about?
How was it that among all her thoughts of disaster, she had never taken
account of the possibility of such a thing as the death of his love? His
love had always seemed to her the one thing on earth which was certain.
To have doubt of it would be as ridiculous as to question the likelihood
of the light of the sun being quenched in darkness. Her faith had
sustained her when nothing else had come to her aid.
And yet now she sat there looking into the ashes.
She was benumbed with astonishment; and what caused her most
astonishment was her own selfpossession during the interview which she
had just had with Claude Westwood. She marvelled how it was that she
had sat in that chair quietly listening to him, while he boasted of his
constancy--of his having remembered her name.
He could not understand what she meant when she said that the fact of
his remembering her name was a proof that he had forgotten her. Surely
he should have understood that she meant that he could not make such
a reference to her as he had made in his postscript, unless he had
forgotten what her nature was.
And yet, that one phrase which had been forced from her, was the
solitary expression of the terrible thought that overwhelmed her--the
thought that her life was laid in ashes. The reflection upon this
marvellous calmness of hers amazed her.
She had heard of women finding themselves face to face with their
perfidious lovers, and denouncing them in tragic tones. Was it possible
that she was differently constituted from other women? Was ever woman so
faithful to a man as she had been? And was not the unfaithfulness of
the man in proportion to the fidelity of the woman? And yet she had been
content to utter only that one sentence of reproach, and its meaning had
been so obscure that he had failed to appreciate it!
The worst of it was that she felt in her heart no bitterness against
him. She had no burning wish to reproach him for having made a ruin of
her life. She had no fervid desire to be revenged upon him. She wondered
if she was different from other women to whom revenge was dear. Had all
the spirit--that womanly element which women call spirit--been crushed
out of her by that antagonistic element known as constancy? Had her
faith in that man made her faithless to her womanhood?
She failed to find an answer to any of these questions; and she went
about her daily duties as she had always done, only with that feeling of
numbness upon her heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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