She said no more. She was intensely angry at her husband, but in her
strongest irritation she never said any thing not justified by the
circumstances--never put herself in the wrong by violence or
exaggeration. She had a great contempt for female volubility and
scolding; and the effect of her tongue, when she used it, was to the
effect of a scold's rattle what the piercing of a rapier is to the
cracking of a whip.
John Stanburne dreaded the severity of his wife's judgment more than he
would have dreaded the fury of an unreasonable woman. He had not a word
to offer in reply. He felt that it was literally and accurately true
that he had been "very imprudent and very weak, and was not fit to have
the management of his own affairs."
He covered his face with both hands in an agony of self-accusation, and
remained so for several minutes. Then he cried out passionately,
"Helena, dear Helena!" and again, "Helena! Helena!"
There was no answer. He lifted up his eyes. The place she had occupied
was vacant. She had noiselessly departed from his side.
CHAPTER II.
IN THE DINING-ROOM.
One of the most strange and painful things about ruin is, that for days,
and even weeks, after it has actually come upon a man, his outward life
remains in all its details as it was before; so that in the interval
between the loss of fortune and the abandonment of his habitual way of
living he leads a double life, just as a ghost would do if it were
condemned to simulate the earthly existence it led before death amongst
the dear familiar scenes. For there are two sorts of separation. You get
into a railway train, and take ship, and emigrate to some distant colony
or some alien empire, and see no more the land which gave you birth, nor
the house which sheltered you, nor the faces of your friends. This
separation is full of sadness; but there is another separation which, in
its effect upon the mind, is incomparably more to be dreaded, whose pain
is incomparably more poignant. I mean, that terrible separation which
divides you from the persons with whom you are still living, from the
house you have never quitted, from the horses in the stable, from the
dog upon the hearth, from the bed you lie in, from the chair you sit
upon, from the very plate out of which you eat your daily food! The man
who, still in his old house, knows that he has become insolvent, feels
this in a thousand subtly various tortures, that succeed each other
without intermission. A curse has fallen on every thing that he sees, on
every thing that he touches--a wonderful and magical curse, devised by
the ingenuity of Plutus, the arch-enchanter! The wildest fairy tale
narrates no deeper sorcery than this. Every thing shall remain,
materially, exactly as it was; but when you go into your library you
shall not be able to read, in your dining-room the food shall choke you,
and you shall toss all night upon your bed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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