“And I am to marry Arthur,” Lucy had said again; but this time there was
no sign that she was understood, and that afternoon she went back to
Hanover loaded with tickets for the children of St. Mark’s and new books
for the Sunday-school, and accompanied by Valencia, who, having had a
serious difference with her mistress, Mrs. Meredith, had offered her
services to Miss Harcourt, and been at once accepted.
That was near the middle of October; now it was the last, and Anna was
so much better that she sat up for an hour or more and listened with
some degree of interest to what Mrs. Meredith told her of the days when
she lay so unconscious of all that was passing around her, never heeding
the kindly voice of Thornton Hastings, who more than once had stood by
her pillow with his hand on her feverish brow, and tokens of whose
thoughtfulness were visible in the choice bouquets he sent each day,
with notes of anxious inquiry when he did not come himself. Anna had not
seen him yet since her convalescence. She would rather not see any one
until strong enough to talk, she said. And so Thornton waited patiently
for the interview she had promised him when she should be stronger, but
every day he sent her fruit, and flowers, and books which he thought
would interest her, and which always made her cheeks grow hot and her
heart beat regretfully, for she knew of the answer she must give him
when he came, and she shrank from wounding him.
“He is too good, too noble, to have an unwilling wife,” she thought; but
that did not make it the less hard to tell him so, and when at last she
was well enough to see him, she waited his coming nervously, starting
when she heard his step, and trembling like a leaf as he drew near her
chair.
It was a very thin, wasted hand which he took in his, holding it for a
moment between his own, and then laying it gently back upon her lap. He
had come for the answer to a question put six weeks before, and Anna
gave it to him,—kindly, considerately, but decidedly. She could not be
his wife, she said, because she did not love him as he ought to be
loved.
“It is nothing personal,” she added, working nervously at the heavy
fringe of her shawl. “I respect you more than any man I ever
knew,—except one; and had I met you years ago,—before—before—”
“I understand you,” Thornton said, coming to her aid. “You have tried to
love me, but you cannot, because your affections are given to another.”
Anna bowed her head in silence; then, after a moment, she continued:
“You must forgive me, Mr. Hastings, for not telling you this at once. I
did not know then but I could love you; at least, I meant to try, for
you see this other one,”—the fingers got terribly tangled in the fringe
as Anna gasped for breath and went on,—“he does not know, and never
will,—that is,—he never cared for me, nor guessed how foolish I was to
give him my love unsought.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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