“There was a tremulousness in the tone of his voice as he told me this,
while to me the world seemed changed, and I felt how desolate his going
would leave me. Still I made no comment, and after a moment he
continued:
“‘And now, Dora, comes the part which to me is most important of all.
Men do not often lay bare their secrets except to one they love! It has
cost me a great effort to go over the past, and talk to you of Anna, but
I felt that I must do it. I must tell you that the heart I would offer
you has on its surface a scar, but, Dora, only a scar; believe me, only
a scar. It does not quicken now one pulse the faster when I remember
Anna, who was to have been my wife. I loved her. I lost her; and were
she back just as she used to be, and I knew you as I know you now, I
should give you the preference. You are not as beautiful as Anna, but
you are better suited to my taste,—you better meet the requirements of
my maturer manhood. I cannot tell when my love for you began. I was
interested in you from the first. I have watched and pitied you these
four years, wishing often that I could lighten the load you bore so
uncomplainingly, and when you came away this time, life was so dreary
and monotonous that I said to myself, “Whether Dora hears of Anna or
not, I’ll tell her when she returns, and ask her to be my wife.” At
first I was a very coward in the matter, and cautioned mother against
revealing anything, but afterward thought differently. If you are to be
mine, there should be no concealments of that nature, and so I have told
you all, giving you leave to repeat it if you please. There is one
person whom I would particularly like to know it, and that is Jessie
Verner.’
“The mention of that name was unfortunate, for it roused the demon of
jealousy, and when he continued:
“‘Dora, will you be my wife? Will you give me a right to think of and
love you during the time I am absent?’
“I answered pettishly:
“‘If I say no, would you not be easily consoled with Jessie? You seem to
admire her very much.’
“While he was talking to me he had risen, and now he was leaning against
the iron fence, where he could look me directly in the face, and where
I, too, could see him. As I spoke of Jessie, an amused expression
flitted over his features, succeeded by one more serious as he replied:
“‘I never supposed Jessie could be won even if I wished to win her, but
now that I am at the confessional, I will say that next to yourself
Jessie Verner attracts and pleases me more than any one with whom I have
met since Anna died. There is about her a life and sparkle which would
put to rout a whole regiment of blues, while her great kindness to
mother and Robin show her to be a true, genuine woman at heart. I have
seen but little of her. I admire her greatly, and had I never met you,
Dora, I might have turned to Jessie. Surely this should not make you
jealous.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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