Having spent so much time in the study of principles and laws, we will
now return to the discussion of this concrete case. What can you
decide in regard to this individual young man to whom you think you
have given your heart? What is he in his inheritance? What is he in
himself? I do not ask that he shall have inherited wealth, for that
often proves a young man's ruin, but does he come of an honest,
industrious family? Have you just reason to suppose that he will make
a fair success of life? Is his father shiftless, lazy, improvident? If
so, it will be harder for him to be provident, business-like. Has he
true ideas of the dignity of life and his own responsibility? Is he
looking for an "easy job," or does he purpose to give a fair
equivalent for all that he receives? Would he rather toil at honest
manual labor than be supported by a rich father-in-law?
What are his ideas as to his responsibility in the founding of a home?
How will he look upon his wife? As an equal, a companion, or as a
plaything, a petted child, or a sort of upper servant? What value does
he put upon the wife's labor in the conducting of the household? Will
he consider that the money he hands over to her is a gift from him, or
only a fair recognition of the value of her work, a rendering to her
of her share in the family purse?
What is his estimate of woman? Is she an individual with rights, with
intellect and heart, with a judgment to be consulted, opinions worthy
of recognition, or only an appendage to man, created for his comfort
and to be held in her "sphere" by his will?
What are his defects of temper, or his weaknesses of body? Of course,
to you now he seems perfection, and yet he is a human being, fallible
and imperfect. If his faults are similar to yours, you double the
possibility of their inheritance by your children. If you both have a
tendency to lung trouble, the probabilities are that your children
will have consumption. If you both are of rheumatic proclivities, you
may expect a manifestation of the same early in the life of your
children. If you both are "nervous" or irritable in temper, both
jealously inclined, or are morbid and melancholy, you need not be
surprised at an intensifying of these qualities in your little ones.
If there are more serious family traits, such as insanity, epilepsy,
alcoholism and the like, it might even be your duty never to run the
risk of their transmission.
I once spoke on heredity when in the audience sat a young man by the
side of his _fiancée_, who, I was afterwards told, had been in an
insane asylum three times, and yet he purposed marrying her.
I know a clergyman who has wisely dedicated himself to a celibate life
because there is marked insanity in his family.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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