The Metropolitan replied, “We have nothing to offer Russia alive; when she is dead, all we can do is to offer up prayers for her.” So much for Christian gratitude in the East--and be it remarked that these Vladicas and Popas were not all Greeks, but many of them Bulgarians. I was now on the point of leaving England once more without the slightest notice having been taken of the recommendations of General Sir Harry Smith, General Cathcart, or of the colonists regarding my services, when it was suggested by Lord Clarendon, whom I was going specially to serve, that some sort of handle to my name would increase the chances of my being useful to him. The letter of the noble statesman on this subject, which is still in my possession, would merit a place, and that not a low one, amidst a collection of jokes of the period. Its only fault is that it makes one laugh on the wrong side of the face. This parental solicitude of the Foreign Office towards one of its adopted little children aroused me to the necessity of belonging to some established English institution. The Horse Guards, where I begged my new guardian still to leave me, had refused to receive me without payment. As a _pis aller_, it was decided that I should be sent to Windsor Castle; and I must say that, after all my late tossings about, I had reason to be gratified at last, for I breathed much more freely there than in Downing Street--and I was, besides, much more kindly treated. The journey to Windsor Castle was a pleasant one. I was seated between Lord Palmerston and Lord Aberdeen; and although the Duke of Newcastle had assured me that Lord Palmerston was always so much behind time as never to see fish on his own table, yet he managed to come in very strong with the _roast_ for Lord Aberdeen before we got to Windsor. The quiet old Scotchman seemed more than once on the point of “spitting” out a not over-polite expletive in reply, but, on reflection, he always managed to bolt it. The two presented such a contrast, that it appeared to me, a youngster, incredible that they could occupy the same political level. The former amused himself by pumping me out; the latter required almost a force-pump to get anything into him. The result might be the same, but the operation was quite different. I took, however, special pains during the journey to instil into the mind of this kilted-petticoat authority that, although I looked so young, I was really no novice in the art of war. He was to be my respondent, or warrantor, for my qualifications as a knight-bachelor, whatever that may mean.