What Will He Do with It? — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
What Will He Do with It? — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
“I beg your pardon, sir,” said Mr. Gotobed, with formal politeness,
“but I heard a day or two ago accidentally from my head clerk, who
had learned it also accidentally from a sporting friend, that you were
exhibiting at Humberston, during the race-week, a young actress, named
on the play-bills (here is one) ‘Juliet Araminta,’ and whom, as I am
informed, you had previously exhibited in Surrey and elsewhere; but she
was supposed to have relinquished that earlier engagement, and left
your stage with her grandfather, William Waife. I am instructed by
a distinguished client, who is wealthy, and who from motives of mere
benevolence interests himself in the said William and Sophy Waife, to
discover their residence. Please, therefore, to render up the child to
my charge, apprising me also of the address of her grandfather, if he
be not with you; and without waiting for further instructions from my
client, who is abroad, I will venture to say that any sacrifice in the
loss of your juvenile actress will be most liberally compensated.”
“Sir,” cried the miserable and imprudent Rugge, “I paid L100 for that
fiendish child,--a three years’ engagement,--and I have been robbed.
Restore me the L100, and I will tell you where she is, and her vile
grandfather also.”
At hearing so bad a character lavished upon objects recommended to his
client’s disinterested charity, the wary solicitor drew in his pecuniary
horns.
“Mr. Rugge,” said he, “I understand from your words that you cannot
place the child Sophy, alias Juliet Araminta, in my hands. You ask L100
to inform me where she is. Have you a lawful claim on her?”
“Certainly, sir: she is my property.”
“Then it is quite clear that though you may know where she is, you
cannot get at her yourself, and cannot, therefore, place her in my
hands. Perhaps she ‘s--in Heaven!”
“Confound her, sir! no--in America! or on the seas to it.”
“Are you sure?”
“I have just come from the steam-packet office, and seen the names in
their book. William and Sophy Waife sailed from Liverpool last Thursday
week.”
“And they formed an engagement with you, received your money; broke the
one, absconded with the other. Bad characters indeed!”
“Bad! you may well say that,--a set of swindling scoundrels, the whole
kit and kin. And the ingratitude!” continued Rugge; “I was more than
a father to that child” (he began to whimper); “I had a babe of my own
once; died of convulsions in teething. I thought that child would have
supplied its place, and I dreamed of the York Theatre; but”--here
his voice was lost in the folds of a marvellously dirty red
pocket-handkerchief.
Mr. Gotobed having now, however, learned all that he cared to learn, and
not being a soft-hearted man (first-rate solicitors rarely are), here
pulled out his watch, and said,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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