When shadows dieSouthworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
General
When shadows die
Southworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
American fiction -- 19th century
There is not in this world of sin
A soul so deeply sunk therein,
Thronged though it be with crimes and cares,
Revenges, malices, despairs,
However dire the phantoms there,
However pestilent its air—
But in its thoroughfares, night and day,
There ever is some golden ray,
Like a sweet child from home astray—
Some light of Heaven, some fragment thence
Of primal love and innocence,
Which keeps the angels on its track
To lure and win and lead it back.
—WM. H. HOLCOMBE.
“We lived at the best hotels in every town and city where we stopped,
but we never stayed long at any place. Saviola was too successful a
gambler for that.
“He was always kind to me, and would have loaded me with jewels and
costly dress, but that I would have none of them, for my soul was
troubled by the way in which he made his money—a way that he no longer
tried to conceal from me.
“I had periodical fits of homesickness, during which I wrote to my
father and to my teachers, but without in any instance receiving a
reply. Then I would write again and again, with no better result. And
finally I would give up hoping to hear from them, and try to resign
myself to my fate; until my next attack of homesickness would set my pen
in motion again.
“Later on, not homesickness alone, but remorse and despair and terror
seized me. I was beginning to lose all hope of ever being forgiven by my
father; and, ah me! I was also beginning to lose esteem for my husband,
for whose sake I had left all my friends and relations.
“Luigi was still fond of me in that way that a child is fond of a
favorite toy of which he is not yet tired.
“I had discovered my own self-deception.
“Other young girls have come to grief and death through their deception
by others. I had only myself to blame! Myself had only deceived me. But
it was bitter! oh, how bitter! to find out that the hero, martyr,
patriot and humanitarian I had imagined, was only a very handsome young
gambler, who was not too honest or truthful!
“My undeceived soul sickened at him and at myself!
“My very last attack of homesickness found us at Geneva, where we had an
elegant suit of apartments in the Hotel Beau Rivage.
“Again in one day I wrote five letters to absent friends—to my father,
to Miss Murray, to Madame de la Champe, to Dr. Alexander, and to the
Rev. Mr. Clement. From some of these I should surely get an answer. But
week after week passed and no answer came to me.
“In the second month after our arrival at Geneva, Saviola was suddenly
called to Paris—on imperative business, he said; but I had learned to
distrust. I could not accompany him—my state of health utterly precluded
the idea of my traveling. He took a very affectionate leave of me, and
promised to be back again in a few days.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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