Mexico -- History -- Revolution, 1910-1920 -- Fiction
"Humph ... you had your clock repaired, what of it?" Fernando said.
Raul and Gabriel waited, ill at ease.
"Time is for getting; get what you can before it gets you. You don't
find it on a dial." With his good hand, he pushed angrily at the arm
of his chair; each man heard the tick of the marble clock.
"While you were away last week," said Fernando, "I sold the horses in
Sector 9." The Clarín stared at Raul maliciously. "Señor Filar paid
me sixty pesos per head. We've never done better. I stopped the corn
planting in 21.... That sector must be kept for pasture." He beat the
side of his chair. "Sitting right here, I can manage Petaca. My
people understand me." His voice shrilled, broke.
Raul walked over to the piano. Someone had placed Caterina's picture
there, and her face comforted him.
"'A house divided against itself...'" Gabriel began.
"God, don't spout at me!" cried Fernando. "Have some sense. Life is
cruel."
"Life is what we make of it," said Gabriel, very gently.
Raul accepted the truism, knowing it was one thing in his father's
mind, another in Gabriel's, and another in his own. He tried to remain
silent.
"I don't like the bronze figure you had put on Caterina's grave,"
Fernando objected.
"I haven't seen it yet," said Raul.
"You're ostentatious," said Fernando.
"It was done out of love," said Raul, moving close to the front windows
where he could see the forecourt.
With a jolt, Fernando remembered his love for Caterina, remembered the
child reading to him, feeding him, remembered his old, old longings for
affection. His fear of death came again; he floundered, hoping he
might touch something kind before the end.
"Yes ... yes, I'm sure ... it was love," he admitted.
"What did you say?" Raul asked.
"It was love ... not ostentation. But I would have put something else
on her grave ... not a statue of a girl."
"What would that have been?" asked Gabriel, curious at this about-face.
"An animal, a frog, a bird ... I think I would have put a bird there."
"I thought of putting her sundial there, her noonday cannon," said Raul.
"Get me a cigarette," said Fernando, to Gabriel.
"I'll light one for you," said Gabriel.
The ticking of the clock came into being again.
Fernando's thoughts faded backward into time: he heard his father
speak. His head throbbed. Everything had grown indistinct. What was
the purpose of death? Was death talking to someone who never listened?
Was death shoving something inside something already black?
"I want to go to bed," Fernando said. "Push me. Help me to bed,
Gabriel."
Raul tried to say good night but could not utter a word and neither
could Fernando. A rubber tire on the wheel chair squeaked; the wind
and the clock continued. His feet toward the fire, he thought of
Lucienne and their mountain trip; then he got up and got his jacket and
went outside, the wind whipping his hair. So the little figurine had
been placed beside the grave.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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