* try to exemplify or personify for clients what it is to be adult, mature, caring, and able to relate openly and without feeling threatened MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY TECHNIQUES Marriage and family therapists may use a variety of techniques to encourage their clients to change in constructive ways. For example, it is becoming more common to _videotape sessions_ so that couples and families may become more aware of their automatic, self-destructive patterns of interaction--which makes it easier to change them. Family therapists also sometimes make _home visits_: often, being in their own familiar surroundings will encourage family members to let down their defenses and more clearly define the problems that need to be resolved. Another innovation that is becoming more widespread is _multifamily therapy_. Two or three families participate together in an especially modified form of group therapy so that each family can see its own problems in clearer perspective and learn by seeing more or less troubled interactions among members of another family. Techniques drawn from _behavior modification_ are frequently used in family therapy, especially when family difficulties seem to be localized around the behavior of rebellious or delinquent children. _Paradoxical intention_, discussed in Chapter 11, can also be very helpful in marriage and family therapy. Instead of trying to restore a state of balance between husband and wife or among family members--something that usually stimulates the couple or family to fight to hold on to its old habits--a therapist {202} encourages a state of imbalance so that the unbalanced system falls of its own weight. The cure, paradoxically, may lie in intensifying the problem. For example, a wife has migraines that prevent her from doing her family chores. A child throws up when he is forced to go to school. Both claim that they "just can't help it." The therapist's response might be, "I realize you can't help it. What I want you to do, Alice, when you feel household chores are just too much, is to go to bed and permit yourself to have a migraine. Don't fight it. Go ahead and have a bad headache. It gives you some relief, so I want you to do this through your own choice. And you, Johnny, I want you to go into the bathroom before you leave for school and throw up. It is unpleasant, but it hasn't hurt you. If you need to, stick your finger down your throat. I want you to take control and make yourself throw up each morning before going to school. And you, Alice, you won't interfere or try to mother him; let him alone. But do remind him to go and throw up." In a very short time, the results of these paradoxical strategies can be surprisingly effective. APPLICATIONS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY