Where No Fear Was: A Book About FearBenson, Arthur Christopher
Philosophy
Where No Fear Was: A Book About Fear
Benson, Arthur Christopher
Fear
One sometimes sees, in the faces of old family servants, in unregarded
elderly relatives, bachelor uncles, maiden aunts, who are entertained
as a duty, or given a home in charity, a very beautiful and tender
look, indescribable in words but unmistakable, when it seems as if
self, and personal claims, and pride, and complacency had really passed
out of the expression, leaving nothing but a hope of being loved, and a
desire to do some humble service.
I saw it the other day in the face of a little old lady, who lived in
the house of a well-to-do cousin, with rather a bustling and vigorous
family pervading the place. She was a small frail creature, with a
tired worn face, but with no look of fretfulness or discontent. She had
a little attic as a bedroom, and she was not considered in any way. She
effaced herself, ate about as much as a bird would eat, seldom spoke,
uttering little ejaculations of surprise and amusement at what was
said; if there was a place vacant in the carriage, she drove out. If
there was not, she stopped at home. She amused herself by going about
in the village, talking to the old women and the children, who half
loved and half despised her for being so very unimportant, and for
having nothing she could give away. But I do not think the little lady
ever had a thought except of gratitude for her blessings, and
admiration for the robustness and efficiency of her relations. She
claimed nothing from life and expected nothing. It seemed a little
frail and vanquished existence, and there was not an atom of what is
called proper pride about her; but it was fine, for all that! An
infinite sweetness looked out of her eyes; she suffered a good deal,
but never complained. She was glad to live, found the world a beautiful
and interesting place, and never quarrelled with her slender share of
its more potent pleasures. And she will slip silently out of life some
day in her attic room; and be strangely mourned and missed. I do not
consider that a failure in life, and I am not sure that it is not
something much more like a triumph. I know that as I watched her one
evening knitting in the corner, following what was said with intense
enjoyment, uttering her little bird-like cries, I thought how few of
the things that could afflict me had power to wound her, and how little
she had to fear. I do not think she wanted to take flight, but yet I am
sure she had no dread of death; and when she goes thitherward, leaving
the little tired and withered frame behind, it will be just as when the
crested lark springs up from the dust of the roadway, and wings his way
into the heart of the dewy upland.
XVII
SIMPLICITY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account