Frontier and pioneer life -- Dakota Territory -- Fiction
Just for a second the girl glanced at the questioner, then she looked
away.
"I'm not in the least afraid of you now--or of anything."
"Not even of your husband?"
"No," unemotionally. "I leave that to you."
Again the man's face twitched, but he was silent.
"I said afraid of nothing," retracted the girl swiftly. "I made a
mistake." Of a sudden her face grew old and tense. "I am afraid of
something; horribly afraid. I'm as afraid, as you are of death, of this
infinite eventless monotony." She bit her lip deep, unconsciously. "I
sometimes think the old fear of everything were preferable, were the
lesser of the two evils."
Just perceptibly the figure of the man grew alert. The loose skin under
his eyes drew tight as the lids partially closed.
"You've been a bit slow about it, Bess," he said, "but I think you've
gotten down to realities at last." He likewise looked away; but
unseeingly. The mind of Clayton Craig was not on the landscape that
spring morning. "I even fancy that at last you realise what a mess
you've made of your life."
The girl showed no resentment, no surprise.
"Yes, I think I do," she said.
"You are perhaps even prepared to admit that I wasn't such a brute after
all in attempting to prevent your doing as you did."
"No," monotonously. "You could have prevented it if you hadn't been a
brute."
Again the man looked at her, unconscious of self.
"You mean that you did really and truly care for me, then, Bess? Cared
for me myself?"
"Yes."
"And that I frightened you back here?"
"Yes."
Unconsciously the man swallowed. His throat was very dry.
"And now that you're no longer afraid of me, how about it now?"
The girl looked away in silence.
"Tell me, Bess," pleaded the man, "tell me!"
"I can't tell you. I don't know."
"Don't know?"
"No. I don't seem to be sure of anything now-a-days--anything except
that I'm afraid."
"Of the future?"
"Yes--and of myself."
For once at least in his life Clayton Craig was wise. He said nothing. A
long silence fell between them. It was the girl herself who broke it.
"I sometimes think a part of me is dead," she said slowly, and the voice
was very weary. "I think it was buried in Boston with Uncle Landor."
"Was I to blame, Bess?"
"Yes. You were the grave digger. You covered it up."
"Then I'm the one to bring it to life again."
The girl said nothing.
"You admit," pressed Craig, "that I'm the only person who can restore
the thing you have lost, the thing whose lack is making you unhappy?"
"Yes. I admit it."
The man took a deep breath, as one arousing from reverie.
"Won't you let me give it you again, Bess?" he asked low.
"You won't do it," listlessly. "You could, but you won't. You're too
selfish."
"Bess!" The man's hand was upon her arm.
"Don't do that, please," said the girl quietly.
The man's face twitched; but he obeyed.
"You're maddening, Bess," he flamed. "Positively maddening!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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